We remember...

...and we salute you:

Indy traffic reporter's subliminal message to commuters

Maybe it was just his unique way of saying, "take the bus...":

Larry Craig immortalized by Minor League Baseball Team

Your legacy is secure when someone creates a bobble-head doll in your likeness. However, I'm not sure Larry Craig is going to appreciate this one.

It's not exactly a "bobble-head" doll. It's a...bobble-foot. Surely to be available on E-bay this weekend...:

ST. PAUL, MN (May 21, 2008) – Some of the most famous dance halls in the country include Radio City Music Hall in New York, the Fox Theater in Detroit and now the list includes a restroom at the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport. With so much fanfare around dancing, the St. Paul Saints will honor “tappers” during National Tap Dance Day.

During the Sunday, May 25 game the first 2,500 fans in attendance will receive a bobblefoot. The design is a bathroom stall, with a foot that peaks out of the bottom and “taps” up and down. The day coincides with National Tap Dance Day.

While many people tap their foot because they are impatient, others may do it because they are nervous. It doesn’t matter if your tapping style is done with a “wide stance” or is used as some sort of code, the Saints are asking all fans to tap to their heart’s content on May 25.

Well that didn't take long. The first one's already up on Ebay...bid is up to $51.56:

I gotta have one. Bidding that sucker up right now...

Anyone heard from Eliot Spitzer lately?

Update: At $61, I am now the high bidder! Yeah, I know I should probably wait until a few more get put on ebay, but I AM going to get one.

As a back-up plan, I emailed Ed Morrissey over at Hot Air to see if he could grab me one...being from Minnesota and all...

2nd Update: Crap. Someone wants this thing more than I do...already outbid.

The strangest...uh...sex video I've ever seen

Cranky from Six Meat Buffet posted this video...and I cannot figure out what the hell these womyns are talkin' 'bout:



I'm kind of embarrassed for posting this...but it's SO strange.

Women...do y'all really have conversations like this? If so, I am afraid...very afraid.

California Supreme Court: Marriage between man and car OK!*

And this guy is stoked:

Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

The recently-released opinion by the California Supreme Court has opened the door for Smith to marry one or all of his "girlfriends":

*San Francisco — The California Supreme Court today held that the California legislative and initiative measures limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples violate the state constitutional rights of same-sex couples, human-automobile couples, human-animal couples, human-plant couples, human-blowup doll couples, or any combination of the aformentioned in any number and may not be used to preclude these couples or groups from marrying. (In re Marriage Cases, S147999.)

Upon reviewing the numerous past California decisions that examine the underlying bases and significance of the constitutional right to marry, the opinion explains that the core substantive rights embodied in the right to marry “include, most fundamentally, the opportunity of an individual to establish — with the persons, automobiles, animals, plants, or blowup dolls with whom the individual has chosen to share his or her life — an officially recognized and protected family possessing mutual rights and responsibilities and entitled to the same respect, dignity and dysfunction accorded a union traditionally designated as marriage.”

The opinion then observes that “in contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that our ideas of traditional marriage are ****ed up and antiquated. The ability to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with other persons, cars, animals, plants or blowup dolls and responsibly to care for and raise children or Cooper Minis does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual’s sexual orientation should be celebrated, out in the open and rewarded."

* Uh...not really. But we're kind of heading in that direction, aren't we?

If Ted Kennedy was a Republican

I did something this morning that I had never done before. I prayed for Ted Kennedy.

Sure Ted has been the target of much of my scorn and snark, but cancer sucks. I don't wish that on anyone.

Which got me to thinking. What if Ted was a Republican?:

What if Ted beats cancer, what do i do with my CANCER shirt and hat? i'm really rooting for the big C. i'd be disappointed.

Buy this shirt!:

“Dear Ted, I hate you. -God.”

“Sure holding all that bulls**t in your brain would give anyone a brain tumor . . . !”

“The growth in his brain is because his head is stuck up his a**. F**k him!! He is pure lying scum and should die ASAP!!”

This Goes to 11 wishes Ted Kennedy all the best and hopes for a full recovery.

Update: Michelle Malkin doesn't need a lot of words to make her point on this.

Barry connects with The People's Republic of Oregon

And Cranky of Six Meat Buffet was there to catch all of the euphoria...

Russian press conference interrupted by a flying Bill Clinton

Fortunately Jim McGreevey*, who has hands-on experience with these kind of distractions, jumped at the chance to save the day:



What?

*OK...tell me that didn't look like Jim McGreevey. And can you really tell the difference between a flying penis and Bill Clinton?

H/T: Ace of Spades HQ left-side headlines...

Nancy Pelosi isn't as important as she thinks she is

What!? No marching bands? No military salute? No parades through Baghdad?

I'm shocked:

The arrival of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who came to Baghdad on Saturday with a congressional delegation, set off a now-familiar cycle of reaction in the Iraqi capital. First there was buzz around the city about flight delays from Baghdad International Airport, which goes into lockdown when VIPs land or takeoff. Since no dust storms were grounding flights, anyone traveling could have assumed some American bigwig was heading in. But when local TV reported the visitor was House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, there was a collective shrug of the kind you might expect from Republicans catching a glimpse of her somewhere in McCain country.

The lack of popularity of Pelosi's views was evident in the fact that her first day on the ground Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki did not make an effort to see her...

Pelosi may not get much more warmth from the American military leaders she plans to meet either. Pelosi argued against sending additional surge forces to Iraq, a plan overseen by Gen. David Petraeus that is now widely credited with reducing the levels of violence in Iraq. Moreover, Pelosi made waves on Capitol Hill in November by saying U.S. troops were torturing detainees - an accusation generally not taken well by men and women in uniform of any rank.

So why is Pelosi in Iraq? Perhaps she is just passing through to meet with a government who holds views closer to hers:





In other Iraq news from Time.com:

(BAGHDAD) — An American soldier used a Koran, the Islamic holy book, for target practice in a predominantly Sunni area west of Baghdad, prompting an apology from the U.S. military, a spokesman said Sunday.

Iraqi police found the bullet-riddled Koran with graffiti inside the cover on a small-arms range near a police station in Radwaniyah, a former insurgent stronghold west of Baghdad, U.S. military spokesman Col. Bill Buckner said in an e-mailed response to a query.

Uh...so? I also regularly use the Koran for target practice:

Thanks to Rusty at The Jawa Report for my bomb-dropping target

Of course the US Military had to go to CYA mode and kiss Muslim ass...wouldn't want to upset anyone who "practices the religion of peace":

American commanders then launched an inquiry that led to disciplinary action against the soldier, who has been removed from Iraq, Buckner said.

"I come before you here seeking your forgiveness," Maj. Gen. Jeffery Hammond was quoted as saying by the network. "In the most humble manner I look in your eyes today and I say please forgive me and my soldiers."

The commander also read a letter of apology by the shooter, and another military official kissed a Koran and presented it to the tribal leaders, according to CNN.

Helix High School has a unique sex education program

What the hell is happening at Helix High School?

SAN DIEGO -- For the third time in two years, a teacher at Helix High School in La Mesa is accused of having sex with a student.

Officials said Spring Valley resident Gary Wilcox, 44, was arrested Sunday night. He is accused of having unlawful sexual intercourse with a female student. Investigators said the geography teacher and soccer coach had sex with the girl, who is now 18, at least once in a hotel room more than a year ago.

Jessica Ashley Kahal, 22, a former music teacher and band director at Helix High, was accused in October 2007 of having sex with a 17-year-old student. In April 2007, a judge sentenced former teacher Frank Palumbo, 27, to five years probation Friday for having unlawful sex with a student.

OK, that's three times in two years. Wilcox is just the latest in skeevy predators to prey on San Diego area teenagers. More background here, here and here.

Uh...allegedly. As one defender of an accused predator reminded me:

Please bear in mind Coach Facione has only been ACCUSED at this time. The player making the accusations was recently cut from the team.As a high school basketball coach, how would you feel if a player that you cut from your team turned around and accused you of sexually molesting her? You'd be arrested, thrown in jail, spend tens of thousands of dollars on legal fees, bail money, etc. and end up with your coaching career in shambles. Then on top of all that, you'd have idiot bloggers like yourself mouthing off without a care in the world as to what the true facts of the case may be.

Here's a novel concept...let's keep our hands off the kids, OK?

Update: Two 8th-graders in Minnesota allegedly had sex...DURING a math class. What was the teacher doing?:

The Best Barack Hussein Obama column...evah!

Rick Moran drops a nuclear bomb on Barry O:

Just what office is Barack Obama running for? Commander in Chief? Or perhaps Keeper of the Constant Whine? Or maybe Lord High Commissioner of the Bitch?

To Obama, it’s always something. Bush challenges his foreign policy positions and he whines about a “political attack” rather than responding.” McCain rightly points out that Obama has absolutely zero foreign policy experience (except that advanced course in foreign relations he took when he was 8 years old and living in Indonesia – or whatever Obama’s claim to superior experience is this week) and the candidate weeps like an 11 year old girl, complaining about McCain using the “old politics” to diss him...

...The more I see and hear Barack Obama, the less I think of him as a man and as a candidate. He hides behind his race as if it was his momma’s skirts. Nothing is ever his fault or the fault of the positions he has taken on issues vital to the safety and security of the United States. It’s either people who don’t vote for him are racists or war mongering fascist neocons who refuse to get with his new program of not being so beastly to our enemies. He is thin skinned, quick to anger, overly sensitive, and a whining, sniveling child who can’t take criticism like a man and respond as an adult.

Uh...Rick? You forgot this:



Go here to read the rest...

Yeah...it's all MY fault

Can this global warming garbage get any more stupid?

As if they didn’t already have enough problems on their hands fat people are now being blamed for global warming.

British scientists say they use up more fuel to transport them around and the amount of food they eat requires more energy to produce than that consumed by those on smaller diets.

According to a team at the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine this adds to food shortages and higher energy prices.

Researchers Phil Edwards said: “We are all becoming heavier and it is a global responsibility. Obesity is a key part of the big picture."

Well...damn. Nothing like a huge dose of guilt to begin my week.

Here I am at a UCLA football game last October suffering from the ravages of global warming. I have nobody to blame but myself.

I'll tell you what. I am going on a diet today...to save the earth! My car (even with my fat ass in it) already gets 25-27 mpg., I live in a small 1 bedroom apartment that uses miniscule(compared to global warming prophet Algore...PBUH) amounts of energy...but I guess I am just not doing enough to save Mother Planet.

I'm not doing this for me, or my health...I'm doing it for the Polar Bear, Great Tits, and the future of our earth. Y'all can thank me now...

(my old college roommate, TR emails to remind me to credit him for the photo. So TR, consider yourself credited, as long as you don't mind me telling my four readers that you were drunk off your ass on Captain Morgans and Red Stripes)

Saturday stupid

Light blogging this month...getting my ass kicked at work means less blogging.

The Price is Wrong, Bitch!:

Iran to Israel: Happy Birthday!

Click here to see the inside of the card.

Taste the difference!

The City Of Los Angeles has a water problem, and no, it's apparently not the taste. Anyone and everyone that has ever tapped into the Dihydrgen Monoxide sump in the City of Angels knows that the taste is 2nd to none. So how do they continue to supply the massive population of the 213, 323, 310, 818, 562, 626, and 424 with such fine, potable H2O without compromising the quality?! Recycled sewer water. Yeah, baby! Toilet-to-tap; that's the ticket. The leaders and minions throughout the Southland agree: "This is a new day," he said. "We have new technology. We're going to reach out very aggressively to the public and engage them as to the facts." (LADWP GM David Nahai) "We are drinking the same water the dinosaurs drank. All our water has been and is being recycled." (Millie Hamilton - Encino City Council Member) I don't even live in LA, but you folks have me sold. This is obviously common sense in action to avoid another man-made catastrophe at the hands of out-of-control growth and development. You folks just might be in line for a pat on the back from The Goracle himself. Stay thirsty Los Angeles; Taste the difference.

Bob Pope clings to his guns...

...and he's proud of his country. Unlike Michelle Obama:

"If you make a deal, you make a deal!"

Consider me the president of the Nancy Fichandler fan club: