Tuesday, September 30, 2008

"'Cause I want my son to learn sex education, while he's learning to read"

Among the myriad reasons to VOTE DEMOCRAT!:

HT: AOSHQ Sidebar Headlines

Dee Snyder and Twisted Sister Back Peddle on Anthem..

Dee Snyder, Lead Vocalist of legendary 80's metal band lore, Twisted Sister, have adjusted their position of "taking it". Apparently now, they're willing to take it... Just a little.

NEW YORK—In a stunning reversal of their long-stated reluctance to take it, members of heavy-metal band Twisted Sister announced Monday that, after 24 years of fervent refusal, they are now willing to take it. "I acknowledge that we promised not to take it anymore, but things change. The world is a different place today, and with that in mind, we would like to go on record as saying that, starting right now, we are going to take it," read a statement released by the band's lead singer, Dee Snyder. "To clarify, we would still prefer not to take it, but as of now, taking it is an option that we would be open to. That is all." Bassist Mark "the Animal" Mendoza also stated that, in regards to what he wants to do with his life, he no longer solely wants to rock, but would instead prefer doing other things, such as raising a family and working as a claims adjuster in Rye, NY.

Blind sided! I never expected this from these guys.

Obama insider threatens to expose him

A savage extortion attempt.

By his teleprompter:

More Iowahawk video brilliance here.

Monday, September 29, 2008

The Bitch Went Nutz

YS here with a shout out to all my panting, liberal, female dogs.

You can sing along at home.

How to make sure you get a visit from the Secret Service

Coming soon to a stupid idiot's house in Florida:

Liar Nancy Pelosi plays politics with bailout bill

Nice going Nancy. Did you really expect to garner bi-partisan support for the bail-out bill by taking the floor to pass the buck again? The good news is...the House just killed the bill.

When will you ever admit that BOTH parties are responsible for the financial mess we are in?


No regulation? No supervision? No discipline? Watch the next video and decide whose fault this really is.

Nancy Pelosi is either a liar or incredibly stupid. Well...actually, I vote for both:

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I love Beaver!

Hey USC Trojans! Oh noes!

Quick, someone talk Rusty off the ledge...

Go here for video.

The Very Definition of Irony

Yesterday, while my husband was working in his office, somebody was on the outside stealing the doors off his Jeep in broad daylight. All anyone had to do was look out the window to see it happen. The irony is that he was busy working on a project developing software for outdoor video surveillance systems. The double irony (if that's a term) is that the building he works in doesn't seem to have its own outdoor video surveillance systems.

If anyone gets any sneaky ideas about breaking in, I need to let you know that they do have indoor motion sensing sentry guns mounted in the lobby, and the password is not Holy Sh*t!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sam the Bellhop

Hadn't seen this in YEARS...someone emailed it to me today:

Of course if you want to look behind the curtain...

Reminder: Joe Biden is smarter than YOU

Just in case you forgot:

Joe Biden on leadership:

Part of what a leader does is to instill confidence to demonstrate that he or she knows what they're talking about...

You know...just like FDR did:

Now to see how truly brilliant Joe Biden is, c'mon over to his Youtube page.

Go there quick...before it mysteriously disappears!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Chrysler GEM Peapod

It's electric. I know that much. And it's obviously happy too. But is it a car or a computer mouse? If you hit a speedbump do you go straight through the windshield? If you jump on it does it make a clicking noise? If you get a piece of dirt stuck to the bottom of it does it get all skippy and out of control? Do you open windows by right-clicking? Sheesh I could go on and on.

My Sister Just Sent this to Me

She knows me so well.


Last night my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her "I never want to live in a vegetative state dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch.

I don't know what I would do if I were actually in a real vegetative state, but I do know what I would like if I had Alzheimers. Stick me in front of a good movie with a bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos. For the rest of my life I would be happily exclaiming, "Wow! What a great chip! Look! What a great movie!" I know I'd probably get really fat, but that's my caregiver's problem.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Is Hannah Montana turning into a vacuous bimbo?

I was having breakfast at a friend's house the other day...he has two daughters who are TOTALLY into Hannah Montana.

I lamented that it was really a shame that Miley Cyrus appeared to be blowing an opportunity to be a sustaining role model for millions of young women. Maybe she and her handlers don't really care about that...perhaps now it is about time to convert her into a Britney Spears-esque American tragedy.

Step one...start acting like a spoiled diva:

Rumor has it that Miley Cyrus is being a total brat on the set of her hit Disney show, "Hannah Montana." Us Weekly notes that there have been reports the tween queen shows up incredibly late to the set.

In addition to being tardy, she allegedly told Disney execs that she'll only shoot 12 of the 24 planned episodes of her new season.

You know what? It's time for a new role model for America's young women.

Gee...I don't know...can anyone think of a woman we might want our daughters to emulate?

The Story of the Day (Updated)

If for some reason you visit my site before you read The Jawa Report, Michelle Malkin, Hot Air, Ace of Spades or Patterico...well then you are an idiot.

For that one idiot who may actually be out there...go read this.

Would the American public really elect Barack Obama if they knew ANYTHING about this slimeball?:

Go hit all of the links...you know...from the REAL bloggers.

Update...photoshop of the day, courtesy of Snapped Shot:

Brian, the check for 11 cents is in the mail...

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Disgusting skank Sandra Bernhard kicked in "The Gut"

Catching a repeat of Red Eye tonight on Fox, Greg Gutfeld destroys Sandra Bernhard for her comments about black men raping Sarah Palin:

Just when you think things couldn't get any uglier, along comes Sandra Bernhard, who's ugly in her sleep.

Following the lead of Chevy Chase, Lindsey Lohan, and something called Margaret Cho, Sandra has attacked Sarah Palin - warning that if the governor were to come to New York, she'd be raped by "big black brothers."

Yep, that's not racist...at all (Paging Al Sharpton).

But what you're really seeing, once again, is the amazing effect Palin has on the fragile minds of the C-list celebrity. It's as though Palin's success is a dog whistle that only unhappy has-beens like Sandra can hear. And it unhinges them completely. It would be funny if the responses were funny. But they're not. They're just vicious.

So where, again, does this hatred come from? A lot of it, simply, is envy. Perhaps Sandra realizes, sadly, that if we were to poll a group of rapists, they'd prefer Palin over her. But then again, they'd probably prefer a donkey, a blowfish, or maybe even a small discarded sponge dipped in lye. It's why she only does one-woman shows. No one else can stand to be near her.

I'm looking for the video...Gutfeld's delivery greatly enhances his "Gregalogue". The rest of it is here.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Anyone got 50 gallons of bacon grease?

These would be perfect marinated in bacon grease, wrapped in bacon, stuffed with pork rinds and lightly sprinkled with pig urine.

Yes, pig urine.

Just sayin'.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Oh. They Call it Manorexia. Wish I Knew That Yesterday.

Yesterday I wrote a post over at Culture11 about the sadistic fashion industry. I got a little flack for my way with words, but I was a bit incensed.

While I was researching my post I happened upon quite a few gay themed blogs with lots of pictures of these skinny male models. In the comment threads I read a lot of "oh, I can see a roll in the third picture" or "is that a double chin?" etc. These models were emaciated. You would need a magnifying glass to find a roll on them.

Anyway, found this on Foxnews today. Supports my theory.

These days, females aren't the only ones suffering from anorexia.

The eating disorder is increasing at a faster rate among males than women — at least in England — the Daily Mail reported Wednesday.

Professor Hubert Lacey, a psychiatric consultant at St. George's Hospital in England saw more male than female anorexia referrals for the first time this summer.

But it's not just a problem in England.

A Harvard University study released last year found that 25 percent of those with anorexia or bulimia and 40 percent of binge eaters were males.

The Harvard researchers, whose study included 3,000 male and female participants, previously thought that just 10 percent of American males suffered from anorexia or bulimia.

Seems the new Eurostyle means laxatives and vomit for everyone. No more gender discrimination.

After you boys are thin enough, we'll put you in a pretty pink dress.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hacker Next Door

There's something in the water in Knoxpatch,TN. My theory is that it all started in about 87 when they outlawed good old fashioned whoopins in the public schools. Kids started getting ornery.

The Pay-off

Preston Taylor Holmes is a man of his word:

Oh...and having met Holmes, let me tell you...that's not a mask. So devoted is he to the Great Communicator, Preston had extensive plastic surgery.

I'm currently suffering from blogging constipation...I have a few posts backed up right now, but no time to blog. BTW Sue, I know I still owe you a response to your well-thought out take-down of me, but I'll need to find the time...I just hope the response is still relevant when I finally post it.

Dumbing it Down

This op ed pissed me off so royally I couldn't see straight.

Oh excuse me. I should have said "This har bit o' writin' by this here uppity darkie done made me so stinkin' mad I was shakin' lahk a weasel stuck in the chikin wahr." Because that's the kind of stupid, backwards, slow-witted, simple-minded, non-nuanced, layers-challenged, southern, racist, Reagan lovin', fetus-worshipping Republican that I am. That's too big to stick on a pin isn't it?

What a windbag. I don't even know where to begin.

Let me just say that my choice of party is a rational one based upon a belief in man's individual freedoms. Conservatives debate issues amongst themselves. We argue vehemently and with a great amount of intellectual skill. My conservative friends in the blogosphere are a diverse group as far as the left would characterize "diverse." There are gays, straights, pro-lifers, pro-choicers, blacks, Jews, athiests, Christians, males and females. We may disagree on a few things, but we are not so diverse in our understanding of the role of federal government in our lives. Over the years of weighing issues against our ideals of justice, fairness, and freedom, we've gotten pretty solid about what we believe. That's why our answers are so short.

Barack Obama can't answer a simple question clearly because he has been sheltered among academics who never would deign to debate ideas with a conservative. He has to dance around the world when it comes to the question of when life begins because inside he knows his answer would outrage the gentle people of the United States.

I could dumb down this whole op-ed. It would fit on a bumper sticker, and libs would buy it. Americans are retarded. Keep it simple.

Let's dumb down Barack's nkay?

Q."When does life begin Mr. Obama?"

A."A baby's life begins when a mother decides not to kill it."

Q."What about the economy?"

A."I want to steal from the rich and give to the poor."

Q."What about foreign policy?"

A. "I will spend a great deal energy time chastising good Christians who want to protect their families, love their neighbors, and have a hope for humans to live in peace and make it to Heaven, while offering my support to cultures who mutilate their daughters, kill their sons, and wish for everyone to suffer Hell on Earth."

Q. "So you support terrorism?"

A. "Well, no. I wouldn't say that. I do support left wing American style domestic terrorists like William Ayers. He's got style. Radical white American professors just look so smart clinging to their Molotov cocktails and stepping on the flag."

Sounds kind of scary when you dumb him down, no? I'd advise the guy to smile more, and dress in a lot of layers this fall.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Have Another Drink, Jack!

Wisdom from the desk of CNN's Jack Cafferty:

According to CNN's top-rated, breathalyzer test bar setter, the 2008 U.S. Presidential Election is all going to be decided based on race.

"Race is arguably the biggest issue in this election, and it’s one that nobody’s talking about.

The differences between Barack Obama and John McCain couldn’t be more well-defined. Obama wants to change Washington. McCain is a part of Washington and a part of the Bush legacy. Yet the polls remain close. Doesn’t make sense…unless it’s race."

It's not like Barack Obama's ties to Chicago Machine Politics, shady home and land deals, or associations with America-hating scum-bags would be any indicator of how this election is won or lost. Nope! It's all about race. The vast majority of the American voting populace would never consider Barack Obama to be a candidate with Marxist views and ideals. Nope! He's just a misunderstood man of bi-racial origin.

Thanks for that heavy-hitting insight there, Jack. Bartender! Another round of Wild Turkey for lucent one suspenders and arm pit-stained, starched-blue dress shirt over there.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Thank you Shearson Lehman Bros.!

Your collapse and the plunge of the stock market has actually created a sudden spike in increased business for me.

So I am buried...I'll be back here as soon as I can catch my breath.

Until then...here's to creative accounting practices and flimsy real estate investments:

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Ed Hochuli commits sodomy on the San Diego Chargers

I won't be able to get the video because the NFL protects it's videos and keeps them off Youtube, but you can see it tonight on ESPN.

Over-HGHed NFL official Ed Hochuli let his proclivity for blowing things get in the way of his judgment as his inadvertent whistle cost the San Diego Chargers the victory today.

"Hey Chargers...Bend Over!"

Denver fans...screw all of you. You didn't deserve that win and you know it.

In October

Can't wait to see it. May get a big group together.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Bitchslap Saturday...

...for the Pac-10.





My Bruins suffered their worst loss in 79 years today...and yes, this is pretty much how I felt watching the game:

NO. I do NOT hope that USC wins one for the Pac-10...go Buckeyes!

Prayers for friends (Updated)

If you are so inclined...please say a prayer for the folks in the Houston/Galveston area. My prayers go out to good blog friends Laurie Kendrick and Murphy Klasing...

Leave it to Laurie to bring the funny even in the face of a natural disaster. At least I think she's trying to be humorous here:

The next morning, the forecasters had Ike heading for the lower Texas Gulf Coast. I remember thinking, “Oh great!! Geraldo Rivera and his Camera Crew of Doom will be arriving in Corpus Christi!!”...

...A friend called to tell me that he’d heard Geraldo Rivera had just arrived in Houston.

God help us all.


God help us all.

Update: Murphy Klasing emails me to tell me he's doing OK:

Doing okay, thanks. We have a large pine tree resting against our roof but looks like minimal damage. We have power which is a huge blessing!

Laurie is safe too...see comments section.

Friday, September 12, 2008

What Nigel is doing tonight

Like you guys really give a rat's ass:

I'll review tomorrow. Or not.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Skanky Ho has some sage advice for Sarah Palin

World famous slut and renowned intellectual Pamela Anderson had these words for GOP Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin:

Anderson, who has had more men inside her than Wembley Stadium, did not indicate if she would be offering lessons despite her vast experience at sucking things.

Calling the Baby Ugly

(I posted this over at Culture11's Ladyblog. But I'll go ahead and post it here too. Pretty much sums up my view of the world situation.)

Drawing What I See

I'm a simple portrait artist, nothing fancy. I'm not the kind of artist who creates spectacular images from her mind, but the kind who draws what she sees, mostly kids and dogs. I'm scientific about it, and very good at spacial relationships. I'm a copyist. To be perfectly honest, if you send me a picture of an ugly baby, I will send you back an excellent drawing of an ugly baby.

You would never have been able to convince me on September 10th, 2001 that I suffered from any kind of astigmatism when it came to visual realities. But I was seeing things “wrong”.

I was wrong about size.

I thought a box cutter was a little thing for cutting boxes and paper, not for hijacking planes to take down the world's largest financial center, or tearing through the Pentagon. I never thought a few men could possibly destroy the Capitol, or that a few men could think so quickly and heroically to prevent it. I had no concept of the sheer magnitude of the Twin Towers. I thought that burning thing that had smashed into those high windows was helicopter. Maybe it had a broken rotor. But it was a large passenger plane. I thought I saw a white bird floating down. Maybe it had singed its wings. But it was a woman falling, her white scarf fluttering as she faced the sky.

I was wrong about distance.

Before that day, I thought the terrorists were over there and that was actually fine with me. Bad things happened Over There, because life Over There was harsh and people more prone to violent acts, and The Middle East had been like that forever.

I was wrong about my subject.

I was a cultural relativist. Once upon a time, those humans over there were smaller than me. They were the subjects of frightening documentaries. I wondered how they managed to live in their culture. I was glad it was not mine. I was allowing what I saw of Islam and the Middle East to be clouded by what I had been taught about tolerance, and how I must lie to myself and avoid the ethnocentrism of calling much of the things I saw coming out of the Middle East “ugly”. At the same time I was being told to treat the violent dictators and perpetrators of violence as babies incapable of self-control due to their circumstances.

What do I see now? Well, I lost my “nuance”.

I see that cultural relativism is the new racism, one that denies humans their dignity based upon their geography. Cultural relativism tells us that some of us are low, barbaric, and inhumane by nature and we should accept that inequality. That certain people are born to be enslaved, and that's okay. It tells us that democracy is for westerners. I am now the ethnocentric American that I had been taught to revile. I'm certain my culture is superior. A culture that honors life and freedom will always be superior to a culture of death and slavery. It's that black and white.

A human is a human. Freedom is freedom. Geography has nothing to do with it. Nowhere is a woman's soul saved by the breaking of her spirit. Nowhere is a man's life saved by his death. Nowhere is a child's innocence preserved by pedophilia and mutilation. Nowhere does a man make choices when he his only other option is torture or death. No culture that celebrates violence is a good culture, and I refuse to celebrate that culture as it exists today. I will call the baby ugly and I will refuse to “paint it pretty” until it really is pretty.

My 9/11 Memory

Reposted from last year:

In the months after 9/11, my church sent me to Ground Zero to serve at a respite center for NYC firefighters and police officers who were still digging through the debris in search of the remains of those who were in the towers when they fell.

The firefighters and policemen would work their normal shifts, then spend all of their "off time" at Ground Zero. To give them a little hot soup or coffee, or a quiet and clean place where they could take their boots off and close their eyes for an hour...well, I wish I could have done more.

I worked the midnight to 8am shift. A couple of times during that shift, our group would load rolling suitcases with snacks, water, soda...and a couple of us had thermoses of hot chocolate. We trudged around the perimeter (which would take well over an hour) to offer this refreshment to police officers who were guarding the perimeter.

At the NYPD's command center at the site, we had made our offer to a police sergeant who politely declined. As we were walking away, she called out..."Hey, wait a minute! Do you want to look inside?"

She opened the gate for us and we walked inside. Soon I was a mere 30 feet from all of the twisted metal. Unbelievably, even 3 1/2 months later and in 20 degree temperatures, there was still a nasty acrid smell coming from the pile.

Our group stood stunned and silent for about 10 minutes while we surveyed the devastation. All of us cried.

This photo was taken by an Amarillo (Tex.) Firefighter who was volunteering with us that night. What you are looking at is the "iron cross" that was fused by the intense heat. On the crossbar hangs a fallen firefighter's jacket. It was 2am and it had just begun to snow.

Preston Taylor Holmes has collected remembrances and photos...

Michelle Malkin has a comprehensive roundup...

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Obama campaign punks Girl Scouts

Geez...for a presidential candidate who wants to spend YOUR money, when it comes to spending a little of his, he sure can be cheap.

First there was the revelation that Barry O. has a brother in Kenya living on less than a dollar a month.

Then there is the school in Kenya that bears Obama's name...one he made a financial promise to support.

You'd think Obama would want to support his impoverished brother and this school. Maybe he is waiting for your tax dollars to do it.

Now comes word that a Chicago-area Girl Scout troop was just looking for a few trinkets from the Obama campaign, to teach the girls about the upcoming election. Of course their HOPE was misguided:

Michelle Walsh wanted to teach her 2nd-grade Girl Scout troop about the presidential election.

What the Naperville mother got was a lesson about the rough-and-tumble world of political finances.

Walsh said she called both campaigns and asked for free trinkets she could give the 7-year-olds to help them learn. If they did well, she explained, each Scout would earn her "Ms. President" patch. The tchotchkes would provide added incentive.

A representative for John McCain responded immediately, sending Walsh a box filled with stickers and signs.

The Barack Obama camp wasn't quite so generous, Walsh said.

The troop leader said she called Obama's Chicago campaign headquarters and explained why she needed the curios. Walsh said she was directed to Obama's Web site—where she could buy all the buttons and posters she wanted.

On the Web, a packet of 50 stickers that say "Obama '08" goes for $5; a yard sign is $8. "Got Hope?" bumper stickers are $3 each, or two for $5.

Walsh found the prices a bit exorbitant her small group.

She said she asked Obama's campaign worker again if she could get a few items for free. She pointed out that McCain's camp had agreed to send a box and, well, her 12-member Scout troop runs on a very small budget.

Walsh said the woman at Obama's headquarters put her on hold. After a few minutes, she returned with the same answer. The woman told her that she sympathized, but the Obama campaign needs every penny it can get, Walsh said.

The story has a happy ending. After Walsh emailed the Chicago Tribune's "problem solver" for a little intervention, the Obama campaign acquiesed. You know...it was all a big misunderstanding:

The Problem Solver called Obama spokesman Justin DeJong.

Within days, an Obama employee personally delivered Walsh a box of pins, magnets and bracelets with the slogans "Hope" and "Obama."

DeJong said that whoever took Walsh's call at the campaign headquarters misspoke.

And yet it just keeps happening...

Color me jaded...

A former teacher pleaded guilty yesterday to having sex with a 14-year-old girl who was his student at Granger Junior High School in National City.

Craig Edward Kelso, 37, of downtown San Diego, pleaded guilty in Chula Vista Superior Court to performing a lewd act on a child 14 or 15; unlawful sexual intercourse with a child under the age of 16; and oral copulation by a person over 21 on a child under 16.

This seems to be out of control here in San Diego. Any other communities out there with approximately a dozen teachers and youth coaches arrested for unlawful sexual contact with their students/players? Please let me know...

Softball coach vindicated?

Back in March, I posted this about North County Softball Coach Christopher Facione and allegations that he had improper relations with one of his players:

The coach of a North County traveling girls softball team has been arrested on suspicion of having sex with a 17-year-old player.

Christopher Facione of Carlsbad is charged with two felony counts of unlawful sexual intercourse with a minor. Facione is scheduled to be arraigned Thursday in Superior Court.

Monday a jury deadlocked on his case and the case was dismissed:

A judge dismissed charges yesterday against a North County softball coach accused of having unlawful sex with a 17-year-old female player after a jury deadlocked in his trial.

Jurors were split 8 to 4 in favor of acquittal for the alleged Oct. 2 incident, and 11 to 1 in favor of acquittal regarding the second.

“The jury had questions on the believability of the evidence,” said Sean Leslie, also an attorney for Facione. “They feel they didn't meet the burden.”

After jurors came back deadlocked, Judge Joel Pressman dismissed the case.

Hmm. I am conflicted here. Facione did in fact have his case dismissed and certainly the only ones who truly know what happened are him and the 17-year old girl.

I coach teenage girls (basketball). I understand the dangers involved with potential false accusations and what it could do to my reputation, my career...my life.

Having said that, I would never put myself in a position to even have the possibility of such an accusation being leveled.

I pointed out the signs of inappropriate contact between coach and player in this post last year. My warning to parents...:

Be diligent and insist on this from coaches who instruct your kids:

1. No one-on-one interaction with players away from the field or court of play. Any talks with players can be done in front of parents, other coaches, or team captains.

2. Set and adhere to guidelines for contacting players outside of games or practice. No late night private phone calls or emails.

3. Be aware of coaches who buy players gifts or write personal "encouraging" notes. I once knew a youth baseball coach who bought one of his kids a poster of his favorite major league player. Four months later, that coach was arrested for molesting that kid. Which leads me to my next point:

4. Don't assume that just because the coach is the same gender as your kid or is married, that you can relax your standards.

According to the arrest warrant, police indicated they were in possession of text messages from Facione to the player...one message indicating that he "missed her", another asking her to dinner.

Inappropriate text messages do not equal unlawful sex. Facione has had his charges dropped and he now has the opportunity to restore his credibility and his life. Here's hoping he exercises better judgment in interacting with his players in the future...and that his tale is a cautionary one for youth coaches everywhere.

No Black Holes Yet

Well I'm still alive. I was kinda hoping to get smashed, sure beats the Zombocalypse. Ya'll still alive out there? Hello?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008


Did you just call Sarah a pig in lipstick?!

Surely you were shooting from the hip.

How can you get away with that? That's comparable to a Republican calling the you a monkey in a suit! (I can hardly write that without feeling like I have to pray for forgiveness.)

Mr. Obama, either you're making up a bunch of bullsh*t, stepping in a pile of pigsh*t, or you're putting your foot in your mouth. Bad combinations all around.

I hope that statement is the pit bull that comes and bites you in the ass in November, if Michelle doesn't tear you to shreds before then.

(I wonder if I'll hear crickets on this one when I go check Feministing .)

Check His Pockets

My polite request of the Oprah over at Ladyblog.

Joe Biden steps in it

Via Hot Air:

Am I the only one who can't wait until Sarah Palin destroys this fool in their debate?

A world without Ultimate Frisbee?

Oh noes!:

KFC is People!

That's my theory on why they need to protect the recipe. Of course that doesn't explain the thing I found that time that looked strangely like a chicken vagina.

I don't eat KFC. Can you tell?

Monday, September 8, 2008

Randi Rhodes is batshit stupid...

Oh wait...we've pointed that out before...

Her latest idiotic rant comes to us courtesy of Brian Maloney at The Radio Equalizer...listen as she claims that John McCain wasn't really tortured in Vietnam, but was rather a propaganda arm for the North Vietnamese:

Brian is too nice to ask the obvious questions, so I'll do it.

How many shots of Ketel One does Randi take before she goes on the air?

Did that face-plant outside of that Manhattan bar cause permanent brain damage?

What the hell has Randi Rhodes ever done in her life except being a mean-sprited bitch of a liar?

I remember listening to a segment of her show just before the Bush/Kerry election where she was making the claim that the election was already rigged...and she was in a position to prove it. And that she would have her "millions" of listeners flood the Diebold corporate offices with telephone calls to expose them.

Everyone remember that? Remember how Diebold was shut down? Remember how Randi proved that the election was rigged, and how much her credibility was increased after the election?

Neither do I. And that is because Randi Rhodes is a liar and nobody is listening to her show.

Go here to see Brian Maloney's debunking of Rhodes' latest lie:

Don't expect to read about this in the mainstream media, even after they smeared Rush Limbaugh over the fake "phony soldiers" flap. Nor will you find outraged Media Matters / Huffington Post types calling for Randi's head.

Lastly, don't hold your breath waiting for the left to demand Rhodes back her allegations up with even a shred of factual information.

And for a Change of Pace

Guess what? I'm the girl on this blog. Right now it smells of football and male "pigdogish-ness". So I'm going to get all maternal on you.

Been thinking about Trig (Van Palin!), and was reminded of this column by Erma Bombeck about mothers of special needs kids. It means a lot to me personally, especially the part about getting a daughter who has her own world to live in the world of the mother. I think the "selfish" mother described here is very Palinesque. Read it and clean your eye windows.

The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia."

"Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew."

Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it."

"I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has her own world. She has to make her live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness." The angel gasps - "selfishness? is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'". She will never consider a "step" ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle, and will know it!"

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty, prejudice....and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life, because she is doing My work as surely as if she is here by My side".

"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid-air.

God smiles, "A mirror will suffice."

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Great Moments in USC Cheerleading

Remember this?


I've always known USC Cheerleaders to be vacuous, but I've only made jokes as to their trampish behavior. Because I didn't actually have any proof, ya know.

Why had I not seen this on Youtube before?

Turns out you can RENT one of these girls for a song! (H/T: Bruinsnation)

Who knows what she'll do for you...WARNING...totally and completely NSFW or children...but perfect for AOSHQ morons.

Choke job

Here we go again. Chargers Coach Norv Turner made it a point to tell the Fox announcers today that "his 45 were better than Carolina's 45".

I guess you just got your ass outcoached today, then didn't you Norv?

Turner bought some time last season with his improbable playoff run. But let's call today's effort what it was...a choke job:

The international symbol for a Norv Turner-coached team

Low Gun Crime in UK

I don't really have guns on the brain, just happen to be posting a lot about them. Really right now I'm thinking about how I have to fold laundry, and how I don't have any wine. Liquor stores are banned from selling wine on Sunday in these here parts. How does a girl fold laundry without a glass of wine?

So I'm avoiding laundry and surfing the web. Somehow ended up reading The Sun. Hit their Justice section, and was so happy to discover how little gun crime there was in the UK.

Now all they need to do to prevent violence is ban knives...oh and microwaves, bridges, the cheap booze culture, fists, racism, greed, gangs, "maniacs in taxis", ice cold rivers, and gravity.

While they're working on banning these things why don't these bozos just go ahead and ban murder? Makes sense right? Or is it already against the law?

Found this. Would watch All in the Family at 3 am when I was feeding babies. If you have about 8 minutes to see how things haven't changed in 30 years take a look:

(Or just go to the end where they discuss how to keep people from killing people. Why Archie is considered a clown is beyond me.)

My "Moose-O-Crat"

I made a wish, Nigel passed it on, then it was fulfilled by Cranky. Today it may become a bumpersticker...or even a T-shirt, or a target! We don't even need a community organizer for that.

Why can't liberals ever answer a direct question?

Part 432 in a running series:

Ed Morrissey at Hot Air:

Only one ticket in this race has a record of independent thought and action. Obama/Biden are machine politicians, never rocking the Democratic boat. Both McCain and Palin have actual experience doing what Obama only talks about. When pressed on this point, the only defense Team Obama has are a few co-sponsorships that didn’t even warrant a roll-call vote. Obama has never risked his standing in the party to champion any sort of reform or any kind of legislation at all.

Completely irrelevant side-note: What is up with Axelrod's hair? Dude, shave that melon...

Update: DPUD checks in with more liberal dodging...

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Bullshit Officiating Call of the Day (Updated with Video)

Watching the BYU/Washington game today...Washington drives 80 yards to make the score BYU 28 Washington 27 with 2 seconds left.

The officials call "unnecessary celebration", backing Washington up 15 yards on the extra point.

The extra point, a practical chip shot from the 10, is blocked from the 25.

Once again, college football officials keep thinking the game is about them. Instead of letting the players decide the game, and giving the fans the opportunity to see an overtime finish, some weak-ass official is feeling all important now because he applied the rules.

Because you know...rules ARE rules.

What a crock of shit. When the game story is available, I'll link to it.

Even sportswriters are full of crap sometimes:

Jake Locker drove the Huskies 76 yards in 17 plays, capped by his 2-yard plunge to pull Washington within one. But Locker was called for unsportsmanlike conduct after the touchdown; replays showed Locker throwing the ball in the air before jumping with his teammates in the end zone.

Uh no. Locker did not "throw the ball in the air". He flipped it casually over his shoulder. His celebration was no more "excessive" than any of the celebrations following the games other 7 touchdowns.

You DON'T make that call in this situation. You let the players decide the game.

Unless of course you are a self-important shit-head of an official who thinks he's why everyone came to see the game.

Update: Oh. The celebration rule was a "point of emphasis" for officials this year. Which means the officials are just looking for an excuse to call it.

The Last Word... Asswipe Pac 10 official Larry "Fine" Farina has a defense for his poor judgement...he apparently isn't allowed to show ANY judgement in cases like this:

"After scoring the touchdown, the player threw the ball into the air and we are required, by rule, to assess a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty," Pac-10 referee Larry Farina said in a statement give to Washington officials. "It is a celebration rule that we are required to call. It was not a judgment call."

Gratuitous Commercial post of the day

Can't believe I hadn't seen this until now:

How to Make a Tree Commit Homicide

A video that will make you want to bite off the head of a spotted owl. From StillStacy.

Friday, September 5, 2008

Four "Bird Rock Bandits" headed for jail

OK...that's JAIL. All you friends of these guys can stop telling me how "innocent" they are. The judge didn't think so:

Superior Court Judge John S. Einhorn ordered Eric House, 21, and Matthew Yanke, 22, to serve 210 days each in jail. Orlando Osuna, 23, was sentenced to 349 days in jail. The three had pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter in the death of Emery Kauanui Jr., 24.

Henri “Hank” Hendricks, 22, was sentenced to 90 days in jail. He had pleaded guilty to accessory after the fact.

Einhorn said he chose probation and county jail over prison because of the defendants lack of criminal history and apparent ability to comply with the terms of probation. He also said he believed they were genuinely remorseful and noted there was no evidence that any of them threw the fatal punch.

However, the judge also noted that not one of the men stopped to help Kauanui when he lay bleeding on the ground.

This isn't over. The remaining "Bandit" who is accused of throwing the punch that killed Kauanui, Seth Cravens, goes on trial next month.

On open letter to Ann and Nancy Wilson (Updated)

I've spent hundreds of dollars on your concerts, records, tapes, and CD's. I think your music is terrific.

Having said that...

Ann and Nancy Wilson are pissed at the Republican Party and have fired off a cease and desist letter to the McCain/Palin campaign.

Specifically, the Heart women are upset that the GOP has used their classic "Barracuda" as a theme song for Sarah Palin. TMZ obtained a statement from Heart's rep, who says "The Republican campaign did not ask for permission to use the song, nor would they have been granted that permission."

Cry me a freakin' river. You've just INSURED that whenever your 30 year old song is played, people will now think "Sarah Palin".

So what will you do now, follow the McCain/Palin campaign with a lawyer and threaten a lawsuit every time they play it?

Screw you. And if you manage to take this video down (which I did not do), I have all of your songs loaded and ready to make videos...every time doing something to glorify the Republicans:

Update: Barracuda co-writers: Quit your whining!

Listen here...at the last 5 minutes of the first hour and the first 10 minutes of the second hour:

I was talking about Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart being outraged that the McCain campaign was using their song "Barricuda" at the GOP convention. They chose that song because "barracuda" was Sarah Palin's nickname in high school.

As I was discussing that story, two original members of Heart - both of whom shared songwriting credits on Barricuda - called in to say they had no problem with the McCain campign's use of the song. I heard from drummer Mike DeRosier and guitarist Roger Fisher.


About his name and affiliations.

His name doesn't sound very Jihad-y. I heard it on the radio, but couldn't find it online. Guess he thought he was an army of one.

What Community Organizers Do

"ACORN does not collect background checks on their employees":

ACORN apparently doesn't pay their "employees" either:

And "raping" voter rolls:

From Michelle Malkin:

As I’ve reported previously, Obama’s community organizing days revolved around training grievance-mongers from the far left group ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now). The ACORN mob is infamous for its bully tactics (which they dub “direct actions”); Obama supporters have recounted his role in organizing an ambush of a government planning meeting on a landfill project opposed by Chicago minority lobbies.

With benefactors like Obama in office, ACORN has milked nearly four decades of government subsidies to prop up chapters that promote the welfare state, undermine the free market, and perpetuate illegal immigration and voter fraud.

Now, don’t you dare challenge his commitment to following tax and election laws. And don’t you even think of entertaining the possibility that The One exploited a non-profit supposedly focused on helping low-income people for political gain.

He was just “organizing” his “community."

I'm just sayin'

Marsha Marsha Marsha

From Tennessee naturally.

Favorite quote, delivered with a winning smile.

To all the gray suits in the booth up here...Listen up! As a wife, a mother, a business woman and public servant, neither governor Palin nor I need you to tell us what our limitations are when we might have taken on too much or when we might have reached too far!

Do you think we could fix social security if we just tax all of the men who've declared their undying love to Sarah Palin this week? Not very conservative idea, I know, but I'm a pragmatist.

Marsha's pretty lovable too, don't you think?

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Bitter Clingers

Due to economic instability, high gas prices, and a government that doesn't care, my friend Michelle (we call her Two-Ells) and I have become very bitter. After spending some time on Sunday clinging to my religion, I popped on over to her corrugated tin shack to see if she would like to punch a few holes in some targets on Tuesday.

On Tuesday night, she dug through her gun closet, stacking her bandoliers, flash supressors, and chemical suits until she found the gun she most enjoyed clinging to.

Here's how we did.

This is the big target we shot up with the KelTec P32 at about 10 yards.

Here's the KelTec P32

It's teensy and has a very long trigger pull, so you have to be extra bitter and clingy to shoot a round off. Luckily we are just that type.

The next thing we fired was the FN Five Seven.

This is Two-Ells more than 15 yards from the target.

She was complaining about her accuracy. I reminded her that she was shooting at a target the size of a mosquito's ass at a very long distance. I also had her look at the giant target belonging to the two frat daddies over to our left, decided she could accomplish what they did drunk and blindfolded and she felt more confident.

Here's her grouping. She must have been very very bitter.

I like the Five Seven. It's loud. It makes a big fire ball, and it shoots like butta.

Here's a shot of me with my .38 revolver. It's the least fun to shoot, but revolvers are user friendly. I don't like a lot of accessories that can break.

(I wish I had curled my hair in the back. I'll remember that next time. I did make sure she didn't get my butt in the picture.)

Here's my grouping. I think my target is sideways here, because I shot them all to the right a bit.

So altogether we did pretty well for being so damn bitter and unhappy with our lot in life. You know sometimes life gives you lemons and you just have to find a way to make lemonade.

And if you're made of paper and you're very still and you don't flutter much and I meet you in a dark alley, you better run the other way buddy.

Side note: Two Ells was actually called "bitter" by the poor Josh behind the register. Maybe because she said "Listen Chatty Kathy, just give us the damn targets already!" She had a hard dinner discussion with an overly talkative male earlier, and poor Josh got a little delayed explosion. She's usually very nice.

Update: Girls clinging to guns and religion at the same time, a day earlier than me, at the very same range and blogging about it. Weird.

Newsflash: Obama to visit proctologist

Presumably to remove Sarah Palin's boot from his ass:

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Sarah Palin's Speech

There were several moments in the speech where I was waiting for Sarah to choke up. Places I know George Bush would have choked up (he cries easily, ever notice?). When she was talking about special needs kids, when she referenced her son and nephew going to fight, when she spoke about McCain smiling through that pinhole. I'm getting teary right now, but she didn't. She's one of those people who eats adversity for breakfast.

Many were waiting anxiously to hear her stand up to the critics. I was glad to see that she just smiled and walked past them laughing as if she has bigger moose to shoot.

Come to think of it, if I could get someone to photoshop an image of the democrat donkey with moose antlers in the crosshairs of a scope, I would be ever so grateful.

Live Blogging the RNC

6:48pm What the hell are you doing here? You want REAL live-blogging, go here or here...

Me? I'm only here for one reason...to see Sarah Palin return fire:

7:01: Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! (my original choice)

7:08: Rudy opens up a can of whoopass on Barry O. "For President of the United States, it's not good enough to be 'present'."

7:15: "Drill, Baby Drill"...the chant begins...certainly different than the DNC chant of "Drill Babies, drill!"

7:26 Rudy has just given the most electrifying speech of the Convention...yet. Methinks in about 10 minutes, Sarah Palin will tear the roof down.

7:29: Sarah takes the stage...pandemonium! I don't remember Biden getting this kind of ovation

7:32: After a 3 minute ovation, Sarah accepts the nomination. Why am I more excited about her as VP than any of the other candidates?

7:37: Uh oh...Sarah Palin mentions her family...mainstream media prepares attacks in 3...2...1..., but hold on. "To the families of special needs children...I pledge that if we're elected you will have a friend and advocate in the White House". Attack that, bitches!

7:43: Sarah Palin BLOWS UP Obama! I'm sure we'll have video later...

7:47: Sarah Palin pledges a "servant's heart"...a concept completely unclear to Obama/Biden. Where did that come from? You can find out on Sundays....

7:52: Palin explains oil and energy dependency...the Obama cam: "Uhhhhh....what?"

7:56: HOLY SHIT...Sarah Palin can run some serious Smak! Screw an Biden/Palin debate...I'd LOVE to see the Obama/Palin debate. Also...anyone think Sarah Palin couldn't kick his ass on a basketball court?

8:08: Wow. I know that gaybot Chris Matthews is incapable of feeling a tingle up his leg, but I've got the chills all over.

Sarah Palin is ready for the fight.

8:10: John McCain comes on stage. I'm 100% on board.

Yay Cowboy Troy! (Michele)

"We didn't have time to get into everything..."

Watch as Megyn Kelly bitch-slaps shit-eating US editor Bradley Jacobs:

"Didn't have time to get into everything."

Well, shit-head...how about NOT PRINTING LIES AND HALF TRUTHS until you have the time to check your sources?

Thank you Megyn Kelly for getting up this guy's ass.

Moron in-chief:

What makes it great was Kelly's outraged prosecutor demeanor-- and the sucker of cock smear artist's rat-like grin as he lied, knowing he was lying, knowing he was caught lying, but grinning anyway as if to say, "Yeah? And what can you do about it?"

Poignant observation of the day

Courtesy of Michael Ramirez:

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

When will pro athletes ever learn?

You're a professional athlete making millions. You can drive any vehicle you want, you can live in any home you want. You are at the top of your game, you get to play a boys' game for your living. You are set for life.

So why y'all keep going out late at night on a hoochie hunt?

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Jacksonville Jaguars offensive tackle Richard Collier was shot and critically wounded outside an apartment building early Tuesday as he and a former teammate waited for two women they had met at a nightclub, police said.

Collier, 26, and former Jaguars defensive end Kenneth Pettway were waiting in a Cadillac Escalade when a gunman fired into the vehicle, said Jacksonville Sheriff's Office spokesman Ken Jefferson. Collier was shot several times, but it wasn't clear where he was hit.

Collier was in critical condition at Shands Jacksonville Medical Center, a nursing supervisor said early Tuesday. Later, spokesman Chris Turner said the hospital was no longer giving updates on Collier's condition. Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio said Collier's family had requested privacy.

I know the NFL security team repeatedly warns players of the pitfalls of clubbing. Here's a hint...if you are a pro athlete, and the clock strikes 11, GO HOME.

I wish I could say my heart goes out to Collins and his family. I cannot. I am just sick of these athletes who are repeatedly being caught in the "wrong place at the wrong time".

Yeah right. These guys choose to be in the wrong place at the wrong time:

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- Jaguars running back Fred Taylor was ordered out of his car at gunpoint, patted down and handcuffed while a K-9 unit searched his vehicle for drugs outside a Miami Beach nightclub over the weekend, according to a police report released Tuesday.

Taylor yelled at officers repeatedly and was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor, after they advised him three times to quiet down, according to Miami Beach Police.

According to the report, police were called to Club Cristal around 4 a.m. Saturday to respond to an altercation. When officers arrived, they were advised that there might be firearms in a green Mercedes Benz, Taylor's wife's car. They then ordered Taylor and his friends out of the car, which irritated Jacksonville's all-time leading rusher and ultimately led to his arrest.

Guns n' Girls

My post on guns is up at Culture11. Tonight is ladies night. My best friend and I are going tear up some targets. Perhaps I will take some pix and post them.

This just in!

Scoreboard photo courtesy of Bruinsnation

Ordinarily, I'd have a lot to say...but I am still freakin' pooped from an evening at the Rockin' Rose Bowl.

Bruin QB Kevin Craft went from nearly being run out of town to a legend in one quarter.

Pay up, Holmes!

Now is the time in the blog where we dance:

"I'm voting for a man I can imagine drowning a bag of cats"

I might have actually committed to voting for this guy had he jumped in a little earlier:

Old, Grizzled Third-Party Candidate May Steal Support From McCain

Monday, September 1, 2008

Palin's Daughter is Pregnant

In the news today.

And because I am an anger addict, I went that place that shall not be linked today.

Palin stated that it was her daughter's choice to keep the baby, and that the family is rallying around her.

The screechers are crying "Wait! Did she say choice? Are the pregnancy pushers pro-choice when it comes to their own daughters, but anti-choice when it comes to all of us?!"

No! You shit for brains. The choice is whether to raise the child herself with the help of the family, or to give it up for adoption.

Can I say one thing? It blows my mind how worked up these "feminists" can get over the trauma of pregnancy and birth. Personally, pregnancy and birth were not traumatic for me. A little puke, a lot of swelling, an epidural, and two speedy births. Why is an abortion, which is a bloody and painful and potentially injurious procedure that destroys a life not considered traumatic by them? Why is it preferable? Why is the noble and painful choice to let a child live and go on to another family somehow not considered heroic? Why is the decision to face the music and prove your mettle by keeping an unexpected child considered weak by these lazy women?

I can only conclude that these feminists base their whole belief system on being able to maintain a constant weakness in character.

When the zombies come, they will make a great meat wall.

Um. I didn't say that.

It is ON

Headed for the Rose Bowl for UCLA's season opener against the CalTrans-Orange clad Tennessee Vols.

Of course I have the requisite bet with Six Meat Buffet's Preston Taylor Holmes, though if I lose the bet, I doubt I will look anywhere near as good in a Tennessee shirt as the last blogger to lose such a bet:

Of course my Bruins will win, and when they do, then Preston will have to sport Bruin gear:

Uh...no. More like this: