Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Hey Nancy...we're waiting!

Gee...Democrats making promises they can't keep just so they can get elected? NO!!:

For those libtards who practice progressive math and can't figure this out...that's an increase of FORTY SIX percent since Pelosi promised us a solution. Of course the Dems blame the Bush Administration, but the truth is that gas prices have gone up more in the last 15 months than they did the entire previous 6 years of Bush's reign before Pelosi and Reid took control of Congress.

Perhaps Nancy should get her ass out of her...uh..."hybrid" more often to fill up her own tank:

Of course there is a solution, but on those days when I'm feeling all "liberal", I see that it just can't work...

Marching towards Hillarycare

I had a conversation last week with a co-worker who had just rented Michael Moore's "Sicko" (find your own link) and was now absolutely convinced that Canada's health care system was superior to ours.

Oh yeah?:

Nice priorities ya got there, Canada...

More enlightening stories at the excellent website Free Market Cure. Also, check out John Stossel's excellent work last year on our health care system on YouTube. Could this be a better alternative to Hillarycare?:

The rest is here:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

Part Four
Part Five

Monday, April 28, 2008

What I did this weekend...

...it just takes me so long to recover from "fun" at my age.

Update: Yiddish points out that Def Leppard's new album is out today...go here for a cut from Music From the Sparkle Lounge.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Stossel pwns Huffington

When John Stossel uses facts, Arianna Huffington goes "anecdotal":

Anyone else see the irony of Huffington making the claim about the "Right's Lunatic Fringe"?

Why I watch Fox News

Yeah, it's not because I'm a raging neo-con who just wants his news "fair and balanced".

It's because I'm an objectifying male pig dog who wants his news from babes like this:

You got a problem with that?

Al Sharpton...shut the $#%& up!

Why does this moron keep getting away with this crap?:

NEW YORK (AP) - Hundreds of angry people marched through Harlem on Saturday after the Rev. Al Sharpton promised to "close this city down" to protest the acquittals of three police detectives in the 50-shot barrage that killed a groom on his wedding day and wounded two friends.

"We strategically know how to stop the city so people stand still and realize that you do not have the right to shoot down unarmed, innocent civilians," Sharpton told an overflow crowd of several hundred people at his National Action Network office in the historically black Manhattan neighborhood. "This city is going to deal with the blood of Sean Bell."

Al Sharpton like we've never seen him before...with his mouth wide open

Sharpton was joined by the family of 23-year-old Sean Bell - a black man - and a friend of Bell who was wounded in the 2006 shooting outside a Queens strip club. Two of the three officers charged were also black.

The rally at Sharpton's office was followed by a 20-block march down Malcolm X Boulevard and then across 125th Street, Harlem's main business thoroughfare, where some bystanders yelled out "Kill the police!"

What could go wrong here at 4am?

Let me bulletpoint why this pisses me off:

* Al Sharpton actually thinks he has the power to shut down New York. Riiiight.

* If Al actually could shut down New York, he's clearly not giving a crap about how many people would be hurt by his protest. I suppose his anger about the shooting death of a thug who was going to buy it sooner or later trumps the well-being of hard-working New Yorkers.

* Yeah, I said it. Sean Bell was a thug who was probably going to end up shot dead anyway. Let's not forget he was a three-time loser who had been arrested for selling crack twice previously. His ass should have been in jail. And I don't feel even the least bit sorry that another drug dealer is off the streets.

* Sean Bell was drunk, had threatened to get a gun and shoot people and had tried to run over police officers in his car. Uh...that's assault with a deadly weapon.

Al Sharpton would not be involved in this if Sean Bell was white, Hispanic, Asian or a Martian. Al Sharpton does not give a rat's ass about real injustice. He's just looking for more ways to get exposure and cash out of a minority community who could use a real advocate for them instead of a race-baiting leech.

Perhaps Sean Bell did not deserve the barrage of 50 bullets that night. But I'm going to save my righteous indignation for true injustices. And perhaps Sean Bell should have thought about the implications of his actions before he got shit-faced outside a strip club at 4am.

Because, you know...nothing bad ever happens outside of strip clubs.

Update: Michelle Malkin checks in:

Shame on every enabler who has aided and abetted Al Sharpton’s campaign to mainstream, enrich, and advance himself as a “civil rights leader” for decades despite his lying, poisonous, police-hating, crime-coddling, race-hustling agenda.

Shame on the Democrat Party, which has embraced him and honored him with the stage at the Democrat National Convention, and every Democrat presidential candidate who has flocked to kiss his ring.

Shame on President Bush, who welcomed him at the White House in December.

Shame on every cable TV station and talk show host that has given this cretin oxygen and unlimited airtime.

Shame on Pat Robertson and Al Gore for teaming up with him to peddle global warming crap and boost his bogus image as a benign celebrity do-gooder.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Someone forgot to bring the cow bell

I got a fevah...and the only prescription is...more Walken:

Friday, April 25, 2008

Tubing Weekend at The Music Chamber

This weekend's topic: 70's Schlock music. Post to be updated all weekend...

Who knows...maybe Abba will show up...

Thursday, April 24, 2008

A feeling my friends who went to San Diego State...

...will never understand:

When I was 7, my aunt Patty, a UCLA alum, took me to my first UCLA Football and Basketball games. My belief is that I was the fill-in for her son, who was a UCLA student at the time, but was attending games with his friends. She needed someone to go to the games with...I liked sports (hell, she started me on hockey, too). This became a regular thing. The '86 Freedom Bowl. Arizona road trips. SC @ the Sports Arena. Learning about John Wooden. Hearing about how bad Hazzard was as a Head Coach. Listening to game broadcasts on the radio. Basically, I was hanging around someone on a pretty regular basis that was a big UCLA supporter.

Then the dream comes true...

Ron Paul as a child?

Originally published 47 years ago:

You have to click on it to make it big enough to read

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Election musings from the land of pastries and Legos

Some dude from Denmark named Lars gave me his perspective on our upcoming Presidential Election:

"We in Denmark cannot figure out why you are even
bothering to hold an election.

On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer . . . and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a war hero married to a good looking woman with big tits who owns a beer distributorship.

Is there a contest here?"

artender! Another Ringnes for this little Viking here.

I'm so glad I don't have a roommate

As always with the ONN, language warning:

Monday, April 21, 2008

The This Goes to 11 Movie Review: Expelled

Saw Expelled tonight with some co-workers. Ben Stein's movie is a little heavy-handed with the imagery...and Stein's overreactions to some of the Intelligent Design researchers' assertions is a little annoying. That said...

Particulary telling in the debate between Evolution and Intelligent Design is the name-calling that occurs whenever you ask an Evolutionist about proponents of Intelligent Design. Instead of debating the argument on its merits, the Evolutionists in Stein's movie simply described anyone who believed in alternative theories as "insane", "stupid", and "naive". See...Evolution is a proven FACT, and any challenges to the "fact" can only come from creationists who have an agenda.

Stein does not go heavily into the science behind the Intelligent Design movement, or even the glaring weaknesses in the "fact" of Evolution. Instead he focuses on the ostracism of scientists and academics who dare even ask questions about the problems with Evolution...and the larger implications on society that arise because of Darwinism. Enlightening to my co-workers was the story behind Margaret Sanger and Planned Parenthood...and the relationship between Darwinism and Nazi Germany. We had an interesting post-movie discourse over soup, salads and quesadillas...

If you have already drank the Evolution Kool-Aid...don't go see this movie. It will just piss you off. But if you have an open mind...

Climate Change common sense from Down Under

This comes from Noel Sheppard at Newsbusters:

Just remember as you hear that $50 BILLION number that has been given to scientists to study global warming, that it is the climate change "deniers" who are motivated by financial considerations.

And scientists being intimidated for having the audacity to challenge the "proven" science? That could never happen...

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Oh Crap...

...today was EARTH DAY.

I wish I had known that before I drove through my hippie neighbor's garden in my Hummer.

Thanks to Vinnie for letting me borrow this:

AND...Six Meat Buffet just turned 4 years old. As a gift...I'll link to my favorite Six Meat Buffet "Earph Day" post.

(Don't miss the comments by that weirdo freak "Billy")

Or...you could just back off "hittin' it"


Alicia Keys (and me) be hatin' on gangsta rap...

...and actually that's a good thing. "Gangsta rap" is crap and not really music anyway. And besides, Alicia knows a deep dark secret...it was created by the government as a way to reduce the black population and to keep Tupac Shakur from becoming the "next" Martin Luther King:

"‘Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. ‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist," the multi-platinum, Grammy-winning singer-songwriter states for the May issue of Blender magazine, further adding that, in her opinion, the feud between rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was also fueled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing".

Sounds like Alicia has been drinking this guy's Kool-Aid.

Of course many of her fans also listen to "gangsta rap". Her claim "disses" the "art" of "gansta rap". No doubt her publicity peeps and record company put her up to this:

Uh...have you ever heard a more confusing "clarification"? Perhaps she's been to the Barack Obama School for Clarifying Your Stupidity.

Gangsta Rapper and noted intellectual 50 Cent isn't havin' it:

"I don't like Alicia Keys no more though … the same reason why I said that I don't like Oprah Winfrey," 50 Cent toldThe Showbuzz. "I'm prejudice (sic). I don't like people who don't like me. If you don't like the content that I write because of my experiences; I am being who I am when I am writing it. I fall into that 'label' as far as you considering artists creating 'Gangsta music,' we fall into that.

"If she don't like that, (then) I don't like that classical music shit she be doing. At some point she's playing some shit that don't relate to me. …

In other "gangsta rap" news...turns out that defender of women's rights and rap thug Akon hasn't really been to jail enough times to truly earn his "street cred":

Compared to most of hip-hop's leading figures past and present--50 Cent, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Diddy, Tupac Shakur, Jay-Z, Notorious B.I.G.--Akon, 35, seems to have logged more time behind bars and, consequently, gained a better understanding of the average convict's plight (both in and out of custody) than any of his musical peers. The New York Times has referred to him as the "prison-obsessed R&B singer" who "wants it known that crooners can evoke prison life just as effectively as rappers." In fact, the singer not only named his company Konvict Music, but he settled on "Konvicted" for the title of his second album, which sold nearly three million copies last year.

As it turns out, however, "Kontrived" might have been a more accurate choice.

Akon's ad nauseum claims about his criminal career and resulting prison time have been, to an overwhelming extent, exaggerated, embellished, or wholly fabricated, an investigation by The Smoking Gun has revealed. Police, court, and corrections records reveal that the entertainer has created a fictionalized backstory that serves as the narrative anchor for his recorded tales of isolation, violence, woe, and regret. Akon has overdubbed his biography with the kind of grit and menace that he apparently believes music consumers desire from their hip-hop stars.

In hip-hop circles, being considered "real" is a requirement for success. Akon, on the other hand, couldn't be more fake. He's the music industry's phantom menace, a guy who, four years ago, cast himself as a crime kingpin and has happily played that fictitious role ever since. Really, why tinker with success?

Of course Akon should have spent some real time in prison for this:

The video (warning: extremely graphic):

Naturally Akon took the opportunity to cash in and blame everyone else for his disgusting behavior by cutting a record entitled "I'm sorry". The lyrics:

I’m sorry that it took so long to see
That they were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I’m sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young

I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
Enter 21 and I know the club they say
Why doesn’t anybody wanna take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I’m just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame

Europe Stinks!

Ha! Now there's a shock. S. Weasel has the details...

Those German pigs!:

The solution? Eat British pork...

Friday, April 18, 2008

Let's see Tiger do this...

Expelled Opens Today

I might not get out to see this movie today, but certainly will before the weekend is out. I've already recruited four co-workers to see it with me:

Evolutionists, like Global Warming Chicken-Littles, get extremely uppity when you begin pointing out the flaws in their religion...uh...theory...uh..."Science".

Here is a theater-locater...

Update: Ed Morrisey at Hot Air offers a review:

Overall, though, the film presents a powerful argument not for intelligent design as much as for the freedom of scientific inquiry. If scientists get punished for challenging orthodoxy, we will not expand our learning but ossify it in concrete. Expelled: The Movie is entertaining, maddening, funny, and provocative, and well worth your time.

I'll be offering my own review after I see Expelled...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

An apology and credit where credit is due

Kudos and a sincere "Thank You" to Love Bites at Ask and Ye Shall Receive for correcting the record and pulling back on the accusation that Laurie Kendrick anonymously "sock-puppeted" her way into their comments section to defend her blog.

I am fiercely loyal to my friends. The "review" of "Ask" was meant as a parody in response to the treatment Laurie was getting in the comments section of her review.

A Barack-Obama-like apology to "Calamity" if she feels like she was treated unfairly. It was her review I used for my parody...for obvious reasons. "Calamity" was just caught in the cross-fire and to be fair she was actually civil to Laurie in both her post and the comments section.

All's fair in love and blogging. I am not asking Ask and Ye Shall Receive for a review of my blog, but even if I get fourteen flaming middle fingers and twelve steaming piles of cow-turd, I'll take it in the spirit in which it was meant.

Today's This Goes to 11 Blog Review (Updated...bumped)

See bottom of post for update...

I like funny blogs. Laurie Kendrick, Ace of Spades, Six Meat Buffet, The Nose on Your Face, The Volokh Conspiracy. Considering the fact that I don't hold a Masters Degree in Creative Writing, I know you'll forgive that last sentence fragment. I'm not one of those stick-up-my ass literary snobs who think blogs aren't funny. Some of my best friends are bloggers and they excuse the fact that I have difficulty putting together a blog post without some gratuitous expletives meant to make me look intense or hip. And then being flattering. With praise. Wait, why is my grammar so crappy? If only I had gotten that Masters Degree in Creative Writing. Anyway, many of the blogs I read are written by funny bloggers. Even though I never feel so self-important as to think I'm funny even on my best day. I'm just not that stuck up.

That said, blogging is, like other writing endeavors, art. Some people like Frida Kahlo. Frida Kahlo was a hack bisexual "artist" who porked both Pablo Picasso and Trotsky. That's about all I know about art. So I assume anyone who likes Frida Kahlo is a bisexual.

I'll admit, today's review was a little too easy for me. All I did was copy word for word someone else's lame "review" and changed some words around. And used the delete and backspace keys. Since I don't have a Masters Degree in Creative Writing, this was about all I could manage. Anyway, I was hoping to find the blog Ask and Ye Shall Recieve at least worthy of an occasional read from my wireless laptop whilst taking my morning crap. I have a thing for crap, and Ask and Ye Shall Receive is certainly that (look at their tag line).

Alas, the crap's on me. And I can't get the stink from Ask and Ye Shall Receive off of me...

At least the blog design rocks! Just look at it! It looks like something any teenage meth addict in Des Moines would think is cool. Look at that picture of "death". Wow. And the colors? Red and black...very intimidating, very assertive. Pound a couple of St. Ides malt liquors and you can just feel the power of this blog presentation. And just look at all that post space. Why, you could drive a hybrid through it! I do wish there were sidebars; I just love sidebars with lots of shiny stuff to keep me interested. WHY THE HELL AREN'T THERE ANY SIDEBARS?!?! Oh wait...there's something! Cool...the sidebar material disappears behind "Death" when I scroll down. Wheeee....that's fun! And that banner is bad ass. Isn't that, like...a bible quote or something? What are they saying? Well...nothing. Not anything anyone with a brain could understand.

But it does look cool. And as any expert on blogs can tell you, that is the most important thing (are you listening Charles Johnson? You'll never get any traffic with your piece-of-crap blog design).

Now what's amusing is that "Calamity" (one of the blog's allegedly educated contributors) seems to be critical of grammatical snafus while completely ignoring her own. This despite the fact that she claims a Master's Degree in Creative Writing (see comments section). Also, I'm disappointed she didn't use a single "F-bomb" in her latest post, despite her proclivity for using them, and her participation in a blog so sophomoric that the creators thought it would be hilarious to use one in their web address. She fancies herself a writer, but you wouldn't really know that with her rambly mess of unoriginal thoughts.

Though I can't tell how often she posts because frankly I can't bear to click on any links to the archived drivel on Ask and Ye Shall Receive, "Calamity" makes the same mistake she criticizes others for: her posts are waaaaay... too...freakin'... long! By about 1,500 words! My gosh, I get the feeling she just types a mess of words, then admires them like she's contemplating submitting her "brilliance" to The New Yorker. She obviously loves her own words, but apparently cannot express that in fewer keystrokes than it takes to type the Internal Revenue Service Tax Code.

(And she brags about being concise)

I'd choose a favorite part of the blog, but truthfully...I don't like any of it. And this conflicts me because, I know any punch-drunk illiterate can do better. I don't see any potential. Absoutely none. OK, wait...maybe if we could see Calamity's tits...

Stop blogging, stat. Perhaps begin work at something that reflects a little of your personality and creativity...night clerk at a check-cashing place comes to mind. Because frankly, anyone who has a Masters Degree in Creative Writing, but can't grasp the grammatical person , clearly got her degree by sleeping with the entire English department at Newark University. But if you must, scribble your posts, ramble all you want, and then go get your juvenile co-bloggers to pat you on the back and get you off in the comments section.

Today you get a measly

because I really don't like you and you can't even figure out who "Anonymous" comments are from. Here's a clue...try the IP address, brainiac.

Update: The ever-brilliant Woman of Abomination checks in:

It seems Nigel and myself see eye to eye on the subjects of artistic pretension and academic snobbery. His love for Billy Ocean aside, I have even considered that he could possibly be one of those rare people who possesses true artistic discretion. The fact that he has wisely chosen to refrain from accusing me of being in the company of said snobs and academics warms my heart, but then perhaps he fears for his life.

I believe, (and therefore it is the undeniable truth), that an under confident artist, writer, or academic can build a fort around himself with degrees, and yet that would not make him more proficient. The man or woman who has a weak ability to instruct, enlighten, or convince often chooses instead to shock the audience with profanity, or frightening images, or he scrambles to be the most unorthodox or radical. The people we call the intellectual elite devour this kind of art, writing, and fashion. Today expertise in the arts (blogging included) is guaged by how much esoteric bullshit a man produces or critiques. If it confounds the masses, it must then be "art".

Huzzah. For the record, WOA...I do fear for my life. After our last encounter when you threatened to impale and humiliate me in front of your stable of mocking eunuchs, I have decided to tread lightly around you.

I guess I could point out if I was a blog snob that I have been linked at Michelle Malkin, Hot Air, Little Green Footballs, Ace of Spades HQ, The Radio Equalizer, The Jawa Report, Newsbusters, Six Meat Buffet, and the National Review Online. Are those blogs any good? (I ran down the first two links, but don't have time to find the rest).

Would that validate my critique of anyone else's blog? Does that qualify me to be an expert on blogging? Of course not. Each post stands on it's own merit. And most of my posts are admittedly...C R A P.

I'm OK with that. And I never critcize anyone else's efforts at blogging because this is not easy.

Well...almost never.

Pondering my fellow Yids the day before Pesach

I just have one question to my fellow Israelites as we make our way to the Seder Table to recount our ancestor's days of suffering at the hand of Pharaoh: Why would any of us ever vote for Barack Hussein Messiah Obama??? We Semites are blessed to know that G_d has chosen us; he saw that he can get a lot of mileage out of us on the suffer-odometer. I can't speak for the Almighty's resolve for the Mainstream Media's golden boy, but, I do know that Barry-O is the choice for Dhimmi Carter's partners in peace, Hamas. Be sure to put that little fact in your yarmulke this weekend while you're shoveling matzah and cherosas.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Vinnie's back!

OK, well he never really left...he's been at The Jawa Report all along. But Vince Aut Morire is back up!

Blogroll him. And don't forget to catch Vinnie on Jawa Radio on Tuesday nights. On Tuesday, the guest will be Ace from Ace of Spades HQ.

The Official This Goes to 11 Election Season Guide to the Village Voice

An Army of Self-Gratifying Perpetually-Stoned Shit-For-Brains Losers...

Ace wears a tie?!?!

Orientation: You have to ask?

Tone: Effeminate, confused...stoned.

Fun Fact: Has been giving domestic partner benefits to its employees since 1982.

Candidate: Barney Frank isn't running. Leaning towards Obama...and lordy how they wish this rumor was true.

Stupid/Evil ratio: 200/200.

History: Ego-maniac Norman Mailer helped found the Voice in 1955 to provide "alternative" viewpoints...and promulgate "alternative" lifestyles. Journalistic merits include 3 Pulitzer Prizes (over 53 years...that's impressive) and a penchant for making up titillating stories about sexcapades.

Modus Operandi: Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs,Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs,Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs,Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs,Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs,Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs,Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs,Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs, Sex and Drugs...

What to expect: The election was rigged. Voters were disenfranchised. Americans are stupid and unenlightened for electing another Republican. Republicans are evil.

Silly post of the day

If you have never seen what I am about to link to, my apologies in advance. It's an oldie...but a silly. And if you have trouble getting songs out of your head, maybe you'd be better off not clicking this link.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

For those of you who love sports...this might ruin that love for good. Let's just say that cigarette-smoking snakes make lousy goal keepers.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Why your kid is a total wuss

Michelle Malkin has all the details:

The public schools are breeding a generation of bubble-wrapped ninnies who can’t do math, are terrorized by the honor roll, and prance around peace trees while the children of jihad perform preschool suicide bomber training exercises.

I went to grade school in Northern Virginia (grades K-5) and recess was glorious. Tackle football, climbing trees, FRISBEE dodge (try catching a Wham-O upside the skull), kickball with "pegs", Red Rover (know what a "clothesline" is?) and a game that for obvious reasons will never see another grade school recess:

That's right...Smear the Queer.

For those of you aghast at the name of this violent game...here's how it worked. We played with a football on a grass or mud field. The game begins when the ball is thrown in the air...the first kid to possess the ball becomes the "queer"...and the rest of the kids try to tackle him. When he is tackled, the "queer" throws the ball into the air and the next kid who comes up with it is the new "queer".

And so on. No points, no rules, no "out of bounds" (well, if a kid was dumb enough to run onto the asphalt, he might risk getting tackled there). It was kind of like Calvinball...only even more fun.

Update... From bmac:

Good luck class of 2015-2020. You’re gonna be grade A pussies afraid of your own shadow.

Jimmy Carter honors terrorist

The following pics are all you need to know about Jimmy Carter. The tomb belongs to terrorist Yasser Arafat:

I'd like to visit Arafat's tomb someday as well...but not to lay a wreath. I'll make sure I drink about two gallons of water before I get there...

Photos from Hot Air.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Pamela Anderson: Potatoes to the rescue!

As predicted, the evils of global warming are rearing their ugly heads and causing a world-wide food shortage. But from an unlikely source comes wisdom...that the world should just look to the potato:

LIMA (Reuters) - As wheat and rice prices surge, the humble potato -- long derided as a boring tuber prone to making you fat -- is being rediscovered as a nutritious crop that could cheaply feed an increasingly hungry world.

Potatoes, which are native to Peru, can be grown at almost any elevation or climate: from the barren, frigid slopes of the Andes Mountains to the tropical flatlands of Asia. They require very little water, mature in as little as 50 days, and can yield between two and four times more food per hectare than wheat or rice.

"The shocks to the food supply are very real and that means we could potentially be moving into a reality where there is not enough food to feed the world," said Pamela Anderson, director of the International Potato Center in Lima (CIP), a non-profit scientific group researching the potato family to promote food security.

Like others, she says the potato is part of the solution.

Pamela says...eat more potatoes!

Potatoes are a great source of complex carbohydrates, which release their energy slowly, and -- so long as they are not smothered with butter -- have only five percent of the fat content of wheat.

They also have one-fourth of the calories of bread and, when boiled, have more protein than corn and nearly twice the calcium, according to the Potato Center. They contain vitamin C, iron, potassium and zinc.

Well...hell! I didn't know Pamela had become such an enlightened advocate for global hunger! But of course she obviously knows what she is talking about...just look at her.

So I'm on board. Potatoes...the solution to global hunger...

Update: Oops. Turns out global warming might not be the reason for the food shortage. Sorry about that. Just like the Associated Press and the New York Times, This Goes to 11 prides itself on 100% accurate reporting.

2nd Update: Oops again. Well, maybe the earth isn't exactly "warming" like Algore (PBUH) says. My bad.

Update #3. The Hell You Say! I just got an email from some jealous feminazi who claims that our Pamela:

"has more brains in her boobs than she does in her head...she can't POSSIBLY be the global nutrition expert you hyper-hormonal oafs at This Goes to 11 suggest she is. Shame on you!"

Katie Couric...how dare you cast aspersions on Pamela Anderson, you undersexed wanna-be journalist. How's that gig at CBS working out for ya?

If this wasn't so tragic...it would be funny

Ah...screw that. It's darn funny...

OK...everyone...all together now:

An Islamotard who needs a well-placed missle...

...shot right up his ass:

Ah...Islam. That "Religion of Peace"...

(Stolen from fellow moron Nice Deb)

Wuzzadem no more...

...I think John means it this time.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

OH Tiger!!!! OH Tiger!!!!

The Masters just ended. Tiger Woods could only manage a 2nd place finish. I blame this woman:

Ah...but isn't golf a funny game? Robin Williams (language warning of course) points out that golf was probably invented by a drunk Scotsman who thought it would make a great practical joke against morons like me who try to play:

The dumbest custody battle ever...

...comes courtesy of Stacy.

Time for a new edict. If I were the King of the World, Gangbangers would all be rounded up just for being in a gang...and airlifted here...where they could share "turf" with Islamotards.

End of problem.

California judge: Mexican justice is good enough

Are you a Mexican illegal alien living in Southern California who is considering a bloody and brutal murder of your spouse? Well go ahead and hack away...because the border is only 20 minutes away and even if you're caught in Mexico, you won't really pay for that crime:

In a case that has drawn international attention, murder charges were dismissed yesterday against a man previously convicted of the crime and imprisoned in Mexico.

Judge Herbert J. Exarhos ruled that Celestino Mendez Martinez is protected by state and federal constitutions from being tried in California for stabbing his estranged wife to death in May 1988 in El Cajon.

Murderer Martinez gets off with a light sentence

In 1988, Martinez told police that he was angry with his wife Magdalena over custody provisions in their pending divorce and confronted her at her parents' house after stopping at a store to buy a fishing knife.

Martinez, 43, stabbed his wife and wounded a neighbor who tried to intervene. He fled to his parents' house in Tijuana with his 7-month-old daughter and was arrested by Mexican police the next day.

Although the crime was committed in El Cajon, Martinez was prosecuted and convicted in Mexico under a section of Mexico's penal code, Article 4, which allows Mexican citizens to be arrested and prosecuted in Mexico for a crime committed in the United States.

Until 2004, California prosecutors were barred from trying someone already convicted in another country. The law was changed in 2004, and prosecutors went after Martinez, saying the five years he served in a Mexican prison was insufficient
punishment for murder.

Certainly, the judge is in a tough spot here. Judge Exarhos doesn't exactly have a reputation of being soft on criminals and doesn't seem to have a record of giving illegal aliens a break. I'm not a legal expert, but I can see why Judge Exaros could see a problem with applying a 2004 law to a 1988 case retroactively.

But you gotta love that Mexican justice system! FIVE years for a murder! Of course if you are a foreigner who is accused of some misdemeanor fraud in Mexico...you might get held in jail for two years without even getting a trial.

But have no fear residents of San Diego County...Martinez won't be back on our streets! Looks like he's about to be...deported:

Deputy District Attorney Kathryn Gayle said prosecutors may appeal.

Martinez will remain in jail on federal immigration charges, she said.

At the time of his September arrest, Martinez was living in Oceanside under an assumed name after entering the country illegally, prosecutors said.

And considering how difficult it is to get across our border with Mexico, we can all sleep well at night knowing that Martinez won't be back in the US to kill again:

Update: Brian at Snapped Shot has more California justice for illegal aliens.

Michelle Obama wants to take your pie (updated)

Mark Steyn's money quote: "This is Kim Jong-Il dressed up with a little Oprah Winfrey dressing."

I feel the same way about my pie as Steyn feels about his cynicism:

(with apologies to Texans for photoshopping this banner)

H/T: The Jawa Report

Update: Apparently Jeff Dobbs feels the same way (via NRO):

She (Michelle Obama) crossed a line that forces me to take up arms against the Obamas.

You can call me divisive, you can call me lazy, you can call me uninformed, you can call me uninvolved, you can call me isolated, you can call me too comfortable, and you can call me Ray.

You can say just about anything and I will look the other way.

But three things I will not tolerate.

You cannot attack my faith.

You cannot attack my family.

You cannot lay a hand on my pie.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

A public service announcement

Keep your hands off the cheerleader:

What happens when the boss calls in sick

One reason I often keep my golf clubs in my car:

As far as my boss (and clients) know, I'm always working:

Friday, April 11, 2008

Who the hell is this guy? (updated)

Barack Obama gets a little more scary every time he opens his mouth:

Not sure if he'll be at his "church" on Sunday, but I'll be "clinging to my religion..."

Ace translates Obama's latest gaffe for us:

You all cling to God and guns because you live in shitholes and you have nothing goin' on for yourselves economically.

Are We Lumberjacks, reveals Obama's true identity...

Update: Preston Taylor Holmes checks in:

It’s pretty depressing when idiots like the Obamessiah put all their elitist cards on the table, attack the working classes that they claim to support, and will likely pay no price at the voting booth. Is it because he’s accidentally expressing the way the Dim-O-Cracks truly feel about their rank and file voting bloc, or is it because their voting bloc is made up primarily of morons and grievance mongers? A little bit of both, I would wager.

I don’t know whether to give B. Hussein Obama credit for his honesty or roast him for his stupidity. At least he managed to make the comment without working kill whitey into it. I suppose that’s progress.

My piece of crap blog sucks

Not blogging much right now...it's amazing that work does not do itself whilst one is on vacation.

Linda at Something...and Half of Something just tagged me with a meme as:

revenge for beavis and butthead!!

The premise? Write a six-word memoir for yourself.

Which I just did, brainiacs.

I see my bandmate has also been "tagged".

Tagging five:

Cranky at Six Meat Buffet (cuz he did it to me first).

Laurie Kendrick...cuz she's so damn funny that I can't wait to see what she does with this (no pressure, Laurie).

Romi at
Year of the Chick...because she looks smokin' hot in flannel pajamas (no Romi, you can't use " I'm smokin' hot in flannel pajamas)...and I forgot to get her flowers for her birthday.

Murphy Klasing...under the fear of him suing my ass off for doing this to him.

Islamic Rage Boy...if Buckley and Potfry can pry him away from his goat.

And Linda, as punishment for tagging me...YOU MUST WATCH:

    Wednesday, April 9, 2008

    If this movie does not win an Oscar...

    ...then let's just dismiss the Academy Awards as a big sham:

    HT: Ace of Spades HQ

    Tuesday, April 8, 2008

    Ironic T-Shirt of the Day

    Spotted this shirt on the back of a Memphis fan leaving the Alamodome after Monday's NCAA Basketball Championship game.

    Of course...that's exactly what the Tigers did...with their free throws.


    Returning tonight to San Diego and will resume blogging then...

    (H/T to fellow Bruin T.R.)

    Sunday, April 6, 2008

    You are a great Anti-American

    "Long time Jihadist...first time caller":

    The only thing better than Islamic Rage Boy's radio show, is Jawa Radio.

    What's lurking in your anxiety closet?

    I'm guessing this monster is in Howard Dean's anxiety closet as well:

    Click to make bigger, so you can...like...read it.

    More Hillarity here.

    Saturday, April 5, 2008

    "I took God out of the box"

    Because the powerful leader of the Church of Oprah can do that, ya know:

    Update: Nice rant from Temple of Jennifer:

    Since the whole premise of this A New Earth crap is letting go of your ego, I feel certain Oprah will see an amazing pair of Manolo’s at some point and feel conflicted. She will say to herself, “Self, these Manolo’s will make me feel better. When I feel better I do not eat a three pound box of Belgian Chocolate with a side of mac and cheese.

    Friday, April 4, 2008

    Howdy, Y'all...

    I'm in San Antonio for the Final 4...looking for some more Bruin magic:

    I'll resume blogging next week...

    Wednesday, April 2, 2008

    San Diego City Council candidate exhibits a hands-on approach

    Considering he's running for the post that represents Hillcrest, this may actually have clinched the election for him:

    John Hartley regularly exhibited erratic behavior during his one term on the San Diego City Council two decades ago, making his office a chaotic, sometimes unbearable place to work, say some of his former staffers.

    And though they do not remember Hartley engaging in any lewd conduct during his term, which ran from 1989 to 1993, the former staffers said they were not necessarily shocked after reading about his arrest Thursday in Kensington on charges of indecent exposure.

    San Diego police arrested Hartley, 65, on Thursday afternoon after a Kensington resident reported that he was urinating into a cup and masturbating in his truck that was parked in the 4600 block of Vista Street. Hartley was booked on one count of indecent exposure and one count of soliciting a lewd act.

    Now let the spin begin:

    "[The accusations] are totally out of character, and we hope his supporters will give him the presumption of innocence," said Larry Remer, a longtime political consultant who is running Hartley’s campaign. Hartley has offered no further comment or explanation for the arrest.

    One group that is waiting for Hartley's side of the story is his biggest endorsement:

    I just got off the phone with Bill Nemec, president of the Police Officers Association.

    Nemec said the union hasn't decided yet whether it's going to withdraw its endorsement of John Hartley, who was arrested last week on suspicion of indecent exposure. He said the union has contacted Hartley and is waiting for a response from the District 3 City Council candidate before it makes any decision.

    "We're waiting to hear from either the candidate or his representative regarding the incident, but we've heard the police report isn't too flattering," Nemec said.

    No indication of Hartley's political affiliation...but c'mon. He's endorsed by the Sierra Club; you can probably guess.

    Irony here?:

    "My top priority will be to restore neighborhood policing, put more cops on the streets and make our neighborhoods safer from perverts like me."

    Of course Hartley can't take the blame for this. If only he had a mother as understanding as this.

    What? Is this some sort of theme this week?

    Tuesday, April 1, 2008

    Inglewood Hockey: Just cuz you look like the gimp don't mean you play like the gimp

    Our man in Inglewood coaches hockey:

    We stand united

    Going dark today in standing with Michelle Malkin in raising awareness against liberal hypocrisy.

    Update: I admit that I fell hook, line and sinker for this one. Shame on me for not looking at the date.

    (and admittedly, I'm a little disappointed it's not true)