Sunday, August 31, 2008

Beer Pong Punditry

Came home today to college-age neigbhors who had set up a beer-pong tournament in their back yard (which is directly across from my front door).

Of course they have bimbonic coeds in attendance...slowly getting drunk in anticipation of being numb for when the guys clumsily mount them later tonight.

The coeds are having a "roundtable" on politics. Scary that these chicks may actually vote:

"Obama is hot! I'd do him...I don't think I'd do McCain unless he gave me a lot of money. But I'd do Obama all night long for nothing!"

"Yes...can you imagine how the world will be under Obama? Finally, we will all get along...he is going to bring the whole world together."

"Oh...if McCain is elected, we will have a nuclear war for sure! I may have to move somewhere where I won't get Hawaii."

"Yeah, and that BIMBO he picked for his vice-president? Can you believe her? She's had FIVE'd think she'd never heard of birth control!"

I closed my door. I was going to try to engage them in a little dissenting discourse, but then came the encouragement "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" and I knew the battle was lost.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Someone's awfully bored outside Dearborn

OK, actually Northville, Michigan...but this guy must be having a lonely Saturday night:

Click so you can read it!

Perhaps a heart-sick wannabe jihadist?

What Democrats think is funny

A Level 4 Hurricane threatens New Orleans.



Ed at Hot Air muses:

Did the Democratic convention hold a seminar in Denver on how to take glee in the misfortune of others, as long as it works for you politically?

Site of the week

Lovin' me some more Vice-Hottie, Sarah Palin:

* Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals.

* Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.

* Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

* Sarah Palin makes Andrew Sullivan regret some key life choices.

* Sarah Palin’s son is going to Iraq after the Surge, because a Palin during the Surge would have been unfair.

Go here for more Sarah Palin fun...

John Podesta...full of crap (Updated)

And so it continues.

Can you feel the desperation of liberals? The Washington Post ran reactions to McCain's selection of Sarah Palin from across the political spectrum yesterday...and I almost fell out of my chair when I read Clinton Family Spokeswhore John Podesta's reaction:

A potential vice president with the ideology of Dick Cheney and fewer qualifications than Dan Quayle should send arctic shivers up our spines.

Uh...yeah John. As opposed to a potential PRESIDENT with the ideology of Karl Marx and fewer qualifications than Daffy Duck?

Vice presidents matter. In our history, nine have become president when the sitting commander in chief unexpectedly died or resigned. McCain, a 72-year-old cancer survivor, may be rolling the dice to grab a chunk of Hillary Clinton's voters, but he is asking all of us to gamble on Sarah Palin if she were to become president at a time of national crisis.

And the Dems are asking us all to gamble on Barack Obama...who if HE becomes Commander-in-Chief will be contemplating an attack on one of our allies. Of course Joe Biden has LOADS of experience commanding troops as well. Right? Well at least Sarah Palin has some personal stake in this...a son in the military...and though she's only been "commander-in-chief" of a state's National Guard, that's more military experience than either Obama or Biden can claim.

McCain himself said this spring: "In all due respect he does not understand . . . the fundamental elements of national security and warfare." He could have been discussing his running mate. The former mayor of Wasilla, population 8,471, has no national security experience. She has been governor only two years. And her instincts on domestic and security policy are troubling.

Well Brainiac...except for this: McCain was talking about OBAMA. McCain's got the national security and warfare stuff down himself...and unless he croaks in the first few weeks of his Presidency, then Palin will have time to acclimate herself. How much National Security experience does Obama have? Biden? much did Bill Clinton have? And what do YOU know of Palin's "instincts" on domestic and national security?

While we sit on only 3 percent of the world's oil reserves, Palin thinks we can drill our way out of our oil addiction by exploiting the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.


Well gee...if we brought MORE oil from land we actually OWN wouldn't we then INCREASE our reserves, and DECREASE our dependency on foreign oil? Or do you suddenly see solar powered cars coming out next year?

UPDATE courtesy of AOSHQ...what were you saying, John?:

When we should be protecting the climate, she is suing the United States to prevent protections for polar bears threatened by global warming.

Yes John...because she HATES polar bears, right? Or maybe it's just because stifling commerce or economic production to "protect" an animal that really isn't endangered is just liberal stupidity.

When we need to clean up Washington, she is vocally defending Sen. Ted Stevens.

LIE!! LIE!!! LIE!!! In fact:

The Bridge to Nowhere

Senator Obama voted for it.

Governor Palin killed the project.

Gov. Sarah Palin said Friday the project was $329 million short of full funding.

"We will continue to look for options for Ketchikan to allow better access to the island," the Republican governor said. "The concentration is not going to be on a $400 million bridge."

Palin directed state transportation officials to find the most "fiscally responsible" alternative for access to the airport. She said the best option would be to upgrade the ferry system.

Anyway...John are a LIAR. Which gives me a reason to bring out my favorite tribute to slime like you:

Update: Preston from Six Meat Buffet prefers this tribute to Podesta:


This week's cringeworthy story comes courtesy of Sean M.'s post over at DPUD:

A welder who tried to elongate his penis with a nut found himself in a pickle when the nut got stuck after he had an erection.

The victim, from Taman Sri Skudai, had apparently been trying to increase the length of his penis ahead of his engagement next week when disaster struck.

It is learnt that the incident occurred on Thursday and the 20-something-year-old victim went to the Sultanah Aminah Hospital here to seek treatment when he was unable to get the nut off himself.

I guess Taman doesn't have email...

Questions of Humanity

I don't know why I go here.

What the hell is she saying?!

(emphasis mine.)

"First up, she's super anti-choice. The forced-pregnancy crowd is thrilled today! (She recently had her fifth child, who has Down's syndrome.)"

Fellow forced pregnancy friends: apparently we shouldn't have fifth children, especially one's that are defective. That makes us super anti-choice. Excuse me, but isn't that her choice? Or are these not the choices women are allowed to make?

The cognitive dissonance astounds me.

They're against her for her stance on life. But suddenly they "support" her when some man posts this:

Here's the quote:

"C'mon. Criticize her on the basis of her political record or experience. Don't make it about looks."

Yes. It's far worse to make a crude statement about her hotness, than it is to say she should have aborted her Down's Syndrome baby to please you.

Should we cover her beautiful face while you're ripping "defective" children from her womb? Is that your logic?

Instaupdate: Wow. Great minds think alike. Some just say it better. From Preston:

But even if a real woman (i.e. a liberal democrat) had decided to keep the little punishment, she would have been able to get equal work for equal pay while simultaneously raising a family and shattering corporate glass ceilings. Because liberal women are superwomen.

Conservative women, on the other hand, have betrayed the leftist gynochracy and must be punished.

Friday, August 29, 2008

If Drudge has this right...UPDATE: Confirmed!

...that will seal the deal for me. I'll vote for John McCain:

DENVER - John McCain kept his vice presidential pick a closely guarded secret hours before the high-stakes announcement Friday as top prospects seemed to drop away and speculation moved to darkhorse candidate Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

Two GOP strategists close to the McCain campaign said all indications pointed to Palin, a self-styled "hockey mom" and political reformer. The strategists spoke on condition of anonymity because they were not authorized by the McCain camp to discuss the matter. There was no confirmation from McCain or his advisers.

Though I have not hidden my lack of enthusiasm for John McCain, I am extremely enthusiastic about Sarah Palin. Why?

* She's unabashedly pro-life

* She, unlike any of the other three on the respective tickets, has executive experience (Yeah, only two and a half years, but in that time she has garnered approval ratings in the 90% range in Alaska)

* She's invited the gas companies to come on up and check out ANWAR and is a proponent of drilling there. Unlike McCain who thinks ANWAR needs to remain "pristine", Palin recognizes that drilling there would both help Alaska with jobs and a boost to its economy, and provide America with much-needed gas price relief. Since she is Alaska's governor, when she speak about drilling in ANWAR, she actually speaks with some authority.

* Oh. And there's this. She's a slammin' hottie.

Here's Sarah Palin on Glenn Beck, telling all of the environmentalists where they can put their green:

Update: It's official! YAY!

Mark Levin:
Palin is by all accounts a principled conservative and government reformer who can contribute mightily to the decision-making that occurs in the White House. She has more executive experience in her two years as governor than Obama, Biden, and McCain combined. She is a mother of five in what appears to be a loving and functioning family. And she is someone Republicans, conservatives, and others can rally behind in the future.

Michelle Malkin:

There’s a new rock star in town. Conservatives are full of Hope that Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin will bring much-needed Change to McCain Republicanism.

Catch the fever.

Preston Taylor Holmes and I see eye-to-eye on this:

Unlike race-baiting community-organizer B. Hussein Obama, Palin actually has a resume and a record on which to stand. While I’d prefer a PALIN/McCain ticket, this will have to do.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I'm Going to 11

What is this online magazine/social network I keep hearing so much about? It's called Culture11. Come take a look at the ladybloggers, and please befriend me (Michele Easterday). And befriend Laurie Kendrick too, because we love her. Check out my first post this afternoon, I believe I will be having a one sided, totally unfair dialog with Angelina Jolie.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Obama warms up for big speech on Thursday

And the crack news team at TNOYF is there:

1 Chronicles of the Obamessiah is here...

Liveblogging the Democratic National Convention

7:45 pm:Hillary is wearing the world's ugliest ORANGE pantsuit!?!?!

Yuck. Good thing the podium is hiding her ass:

Michelle Obama looks pissed.

7:52pm:Hillary sums up her America: "Help Me"

7:57pm:My gosh...Michelle Obama STILL looks pissed. Can someone take the stick out of her ass?

8:00pm: Hillary mentions Michelle...finally, Michelle smiles. What a bitch. (Who am I talking about here?)

8:01...SHIT...gotta run. WKRP in Cincinnati marathon over on TV Land...

What? You were looking for real political analysis? Why don't you go here instead?

The Ad Barack Obama does not want you to see

Michelle Malkin's suggestion:

Spread the ad far and wide. Will they come after bloggers next?

Shut us up?

No, they can’t.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Obama team re-edumacates the masses

Iowahawk has the inside scoop on Barack's operatives in the midwest:

Led by Los Angeles guerrilla marketing douchebag Benjamin "Benjamin" Lorenz, the elite edgy squadron contains some of the Obama campaign's top flamewar-hardened Farktards and Digg dipshits, and has been spending several days preparing the American election battlefields for the Obama douchebag airlift expected later this week.

"After all those hours simulating, training and trolling on wingnut message boards, it's good to finally be on the ground," said Lorenz, landing at the airport in Wisconsin's hotly contested Fond du Lac province. "Which way to the free public yellow bikes?"

According to Lorenz, winning back fence sitters to the Obama column takes a disciplined three-pronged attack of sarcasm, irony and condescension, which he demonstrates on a diner at a Fond du Lac IHOP.

"Excuse me, who are you voting for?" Lorenz asks the elderly man.

"Oh, I don't know, McCain I suppose," the man answers.

"Yeah, I guess you senile old fucks need to stick together," says Lorenz. "That way you can stay safe from those scary Muslim nee-groos."

"See?" observes Lorenz. "Now that he's been properly shamed out of his racism, he'll think twice before pulling any lever for McBush."

Go here the read the rest of the expose'...

Global Warming bears down on Minnesota, Wisconsin (Updated)

Damn that Global there no end to the havoc it wreaks?

Here's some news you probably hoped you wouldn't hear for another four months.

The National Weather Service says areas of northeast Minnesota and northwest Wisconsin could see patchy frost this weekend. That's right, patchy frost in August.

The weather agency says clear skies could allow temperatures to dip into the low to mid-30s late tonight into early Monday.


In August.

Just sayin'...

Update: Michigan too!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Hu's on First?

"Boy, I sure am glad the IOC is finally looking into that Chinese gymnast. They say He's only 14."

"How old did China say he was?"

"China wrote up some papers that said she was 16 so she could qualify."

"Wait. Who's the girl?"

"He's the girl."

"And that's not a problem?"

"No honey, He really is a she! Let me show you a picture."

"Oh wow! I'm convinced. He really does look like a she."

"He is a she!"

"Dang. The Chinese will do anything to win. Even perform sex changes on 14 year olds!"

"I give up."

Thursday, August 21, 2008

"Can I just say one thing real quick?"

Hey NBC..."In your face!":

"Mr President...we thank you! Thank you for your inspiration...for all you do..."

HT: Hot Air

Another Knoxville Shooting

First it was my former church, now it's my old high school. That bearded man up there is Chris Buice, the minister of the Unitarian Church, who sends his daughter to Central. Sheesh.

Pardon if this sounds insensitive, it's not meant to be, but before anybody wonders if it was some kind of racial thing, I don't think McDonald was a skinhead. It looks like he may have suffered from alopecia.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Abominable Woman Counsels the Obamassiah

She's so smart. I wish she was on my side.

I know, sometimes I just creep you guys out with this thing.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Let them eat rat!

Pearls of wisdom from the rising powers of the 3rd World:

Eating rats is the best way for rich and poor people to solve the global crisis of rising food prices, an Indian official said Wednesday as he unveiled his plan to put rodents on menus.

mmmm.... My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Regular rat snacks would translate into fewer rodents eating precious grain stocks -- 50 percent of which are lost in the northeastern state of Bihar every year to the animals, said Vijay Prakash, secretary of the state's welfare department

If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em!

'This will help in mitigating the global food crisis. We are sure that it will work wonders," Prakash told AFP. "It will save half our grain, and will also reduce villagers' dependence on food stock."

Prakash's plan promotes consumption of rat meat in homes, street stalls, restaurants and even international five-star hotels.

He said he was also holding talks with prestigious hotels outside India to encourage them to put rat meat on their menus, but admitted his scheme had to overcome public prejudice.

"The only issue is how people react to rat meat, but I think it will not be a problem," he said.

"Some socially deprived people in Bihar have always consumed rat meat. If they can eat rats, why can't the rest of the people?" he said.

Members of the Mushar community and some other impoverished groups have traditionally eaten rats in India.

"Rat meat will make up nutrition deficiencies among villagers, since rats are a major source of protein," Prakash said.

eing the "Citizen of the World" that I am, I can't figure out if Rat is good enough for a billion Call Center and Help Desk Workers, why isn't it good enough for millions of savvy Yankees.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I Smell a Fatwa Coming.

Neat interview with Mosab Hassan Yousef, but I'm not so sure it's such a good idea for Fox News to publish the location of this guy's church. He sure has got some guts. He'd better have some kevlar and ammo too.

JONATHAN HUNT: Why, after 25 years, did you change?

MOSAB HASSAN YOUSEF: I believe that all those walls that Islam built for the last 1,400 years are not existing (sic) anymore. They don't recognize this. They built those walls and made people ignorant because they're afraid. They didn't want people to discuss anything about the reality of Islam, about the big questions of Islam and they asked their followers, the Muslims, 'Don't ask about those certain questions. But now, people have media. If the father closes the door for his daughter not to leave the house, she's going to go behind her computer and travel the world. So people easily can get information, knowledge, searching (sic) engines, so it's very, very available for everybody to study about Islam, about other religions. Not from the Islam point of view, but from other points of view.

So for the next 25 years this is for sure going to make huge change in the Muslim and the Arab world.

I know I've said this before, but I think a lot of people need to realize what a major renaissance the internet is creating in the world. With the internet there's no space, time, or difficulty preventing people from talking to each other finding the truth. That muslim girl doesn't need to go to the library, or sneak into a church, or find a hotline, she just needs to log on. I imagine that's very scary to the Islamists.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Friday, August 8, 2008

Let the games begin!

Does anyone care about the Summer Olympics? Seriously. I really doubt that I will invest much time into watching the games over the next 2 weeks. And let's be honest here, most of the "games" and "events" don't even qualify as sports. Go ahead and try and convince me that Archery, Equestrian, Trampoline, Sailing, Shooting, "Table Tennis", or Synchronized Swimming are sports, because they're not! But, I hope to make time to watch the non-sport of Synchronized Swimming when Bia and Branca Feres hit the pool. They are to choreographed pool frolicking what Anna Kournikova was to Tennis. If i'm Dick Ebersol at NBC Sports, i'm giving these two as much camera time as possible.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Ironic moment of the day

Driving to work this morning, I passed a hybrid parked on the side of the road.

The car had four "Barack Obama '08" bumper stickers on it.

The driver had run out of gas.

Get used to it, Buddy...

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Nancy Pelosi...Susan Davis...are you enjoying your vacations?

Of course Nan is out on her whirlwind tour for her book...which is number 782 and being trounced by a coloring book on the NY Times best-seller list:

And my congresswoman, Susan Davis? She has 15 key issues listed on her website. Among them:

* Global Warming:

Susan is an original cosponsor of the Safe Climate Act which seeks to reduce global warming emissions through a system of caps and trades...

* Animal Rights: (I didn't know Animals had "rights" under our Constitution):

H.Res.1046 is a resolution to designate September 2008 as National Link Awareness Month, bringing further awareness and attention to the link between animal cruelty and other forms of societal violence...

* Women's Caucus:

Legislative priorities for the Women’s Caucus in the 110th Congress include creating a commemorative stamp for women’s history; increasing the display of more portraits of women leaders around the Capitol...

Hmm. Hey Susan. What about gas prices? What about an energy plan?

Nope. Not listed. Fifteen important issues that you are championing...and you care more about "bringing further awareness and attention to the link between animal cruelty and other forms of societal violence..."

Give Susan some credit. She does ask US after all what we are doing about the crisis (since her ass is on vacation and she won't do a damn thing):

How are you responding to high gas prices?

I'm buying a more fuel efficient vehicle
I'm driving less
I'm carpooling more
I'm taking public transportation more
I'm cutting back on other expenses
I'm not changing my habits at all

Border fence? We don't need no steenking border fence!

You know...because it's just hard-working Mexicans who want to do the jobs that Americans won't do:

A U.S. Border Patrol agent was held at gunpoint Sunday night by members of the Mexican military who had crossed the border into Arizona, but the soldiers returned to Mexico without incident when backup agents responded to assist.

Agents assigned to the Border Patrol station at Ajo, Ariz., said the Mexican soldiers crossed the international border in an isolated area about 100 miles southwest of Tucson and pointed rifles at the agent, who was not identified.

Well...this is just an isolated incident, right? A mistake perhaps by confused Federales who left their compass back at la officina?:

It was unclear what the soldiers were doing in the United States, but U.S. law enforcement authorities have long said that current and former Mexican military personnel have been hired to protect drug and migrant smugglers.

"Unfortunately, this sort of behavior by Mexican military personnel has been going on for years," union Local 2544 of the National Border Patrol Council (NBPC) said on its Web page. "They are never held accountable, and the United States government will undoubtedly brush this off as another case of 'Oh well, they didn't know they were in the United States.'

"It is fortunate that this incident didn't end in a very ugly gunfight," said the local's posting.

Fortunate? Mexican military invading sovereign American soil? Isn't that, act of war? Maybe we can have a few helicopters ready to fire a missle or two the next time a foreign military unit invades our territory...

Or am I racist for even thinking that?

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Saturday, August 2, 2008

What Nancy Pelosi does on her vacation

While the Republicans in Congress offered to postpone their vacations and stay behind to try to help the American people, Nancy Pelosi and the rest of the libs decided it was time for a little vacation.

And give Nan a break...summer in San Francisco only lasts about 3 weeks anyway. Just enough time for her to get in a little sunbathing:

Eeek! Did she have to go to a nude beach?

(Yeah, I know. Too easy a shot...)

Update...Laura Ingraham points out that the new Iraqi government gets more done that our pathetic Congress:

Friday, August 1, 2008

Little Brains Full of Rush

Dinner conversation last night. My daughter had a mouthful of egg roll that she couldn't seem to chew and swallow.

Me: "Hey kids, eat those egg rolls. You know the best way for us to conserve is to eat leftovers. Let's not be wasteful."

8 year old Son (serious as a heart attack): "Yeah JoJo, you better eat it. Food prices are going up since they raised the minimum wage."