Saturday, June 30, 2007

Keith Olbermann...fair and balanced. (Updated)

Last night Keith Olbermann "covered" the discovery of a car bomb in London's Picadilly Circus. He brought on terrorism "expert" Larry Johnson:

Of course Olbermann doesn't bother to mention Johnson's credentials as an "expert". Fortunately, Ace of Spades handles that for us. Make sure you check the date on this:

"Judging from news reports and the portrayal of villains in our popular entertainment, Americans are bedeviled by fantasies about terrorism. They seem to believe that terrorism is the greatest threat to the United States and that it is becoming more widespread and lethal. They are likely to think that the United States is the most popular target of terrorists. And they almost certainly have the impression that extremist Islamic groups cause most terrorism.

"None of these beliefs are based in fact. ... While terrorism is not vanquished, in a world where thousands of nuclear warheads are still aimed across the continents, terrorism is not the biggest security challenge confronting the United States, and it should not be portrayed that way."

--Larry C. Johnson, "The Declining Terrorist Threat," New York Times, July 10, 2001. Johnson, a former CIA officer, was deputy director of the U.S. State Department's Office of Counterterrorism from 1989 to 1993.

Next week, the greatest journalist since Edward R. Murrow has slated an impressive list of topics and guest "experts":


Nutrition "expert" and psychologist Barry Bonds on the paranoia surrounding the effects of steroid abuse


America's new morality...the Hollywood example. "Expert" sociologist Lindsay Lohan tells us why American values are outdated.


"Expert" ethicist Mike Nifong on legal integrity: What is due process anyway?


Animal rights activist and "expert" Michael Vick on Your Dog...the need for tough love

The greatest journalist since Edward R. Murrow has a special treat for us on Friday:

"Expert" marriage consultant Bill Clinton on The vows of matrimony. How important are they, really?

If anyone out there gets wind of future "experts" scheduled to appear on Countdown, please let us know (in the comment box).

(Update) Nothing to see here. Move along. According to Larry Johnson and the greatest journalist since Edward R. Murrow, threats like this are just in our heads:

Two people are being held after a burning Jeep was rammed through the terminal building at Glasgow airport.

Sky sources say the incident is being treated as a terrorist strike, and armed police have now closed off Blackpool airport.

The suspects have been described. We can all relax...the suspects are "Asian", not Middle Eastern Islamists:

Eyewitnesses have described a Jeep Cherokee being driven at speed towards the building with flames coming out from underneath.

They have also described seeing two Asian men, one of whom was on fire, who had been in the car.

Friday, June 29, 2007

We've Stopped the it's time for a pardon

Ragnar at The Jawa Report has a series of videos on the ridiculous incarceration of Border Patrol agents Jose Compean and Ignacio Ramos.

Watch moron U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton(who chose to believe an ILLEGAL ALIEN DRUG DEALER) try to defend his actions.

President George Bush has already lost the respect of millions of his supporters because of his amnesty push. It's time for him to quit pandering to the Mexican Government and illegal aliens and DO THE RIGHT THING.

Pardon agents Compean and Ramos. Now. This travesty has gone on long enough.

Old Skool Miller Time!

Whilst bopping around youtube for Miller's appearance on O'Reilly Wednesday, I tripped across this gem (language warning):

I'll post part two next Friday...

Thursday, June 28, 2007's gonna be a bitch

We're gonna remember come election time:

Like I need an excuse to post some AC/DC...

BANG! Shamnesty Bill is DEAD! (Updated)

Today the Senate voted 53-46 to kill the Amnesty/Shamnesty bill...

Hot Air plans a celebration... make sure you scroll all the way down for it!

This Goes to 11's Celebration:

Preston at Six Meat Buffet has a suggestion for the President:

Message to Junior: Now that you’ve gotten your nose rubbed in it, why don’t you quit being a dick and build the fence?

The cleanest of Ace's celebrations:

(Update): 2008 Presidential pretender Sam Brownback actually voted for cloture before he voted against it. From Michelle Malkin:

Vote-switching weasel Sam Brownback should really just end his presidential campaign bid right now and stop wasting his poor staff’s time.

I wonder how Sam "Switchback" will spin that during the next debate. Anything like this guy?

Sean Hannity exposes Ohio Senator as a total tool...(Updated)

If you are from Ohio, you should be totally embarassed...

"You don't intimidate George Voinovich!"

Newsflash, George. After this, your political career is over.

Voinovich explains why he hasn't even read the amnesty bill...and his bad taste in ties

(H/T Hot Air)

(Update) Apparently the voters of Ohio just intimidated Voinovich ...he voted NO on the 2nd Cloture vote.

Mel Martinez: Time to "Move On"

Watching C-Span this morning (which I admit, I rarely do) in anticipation of the 2nd cloture vote on the Shamnesty Bill....and Mel Martinez just said, "We have an opportunity today to move debate move on..."


Sounds like...

Who thinks Mel has actually read the bill?

Mel Martinez wants us to "move on"

Michelle Malkin is live blogging the debate and vote.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

AP cherry picks comments by Coulter; Elizabeth Edwards helps her sell more books (Updated)

Ann Coulter doesn't need any help defending herself. But today the Associated Press and Elizabeth Edwards provide more evidence to Coulter's assertion that there is a double standard when it comes to freedom of speech.

First, the lead from yesterday's Associated Press story:

RALEIGH, N.C. (June 27) - Elizabeth Edwards pleaded Tuesday with Ann Coulter to "stop the personal attacks," a day after the conservative commentator said she wished Edwards' husband, Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards, had been killed by terrorists.

Except...that's not what Ann said. Here is the transcript of Coulter's appearance on Good Morning America, courtesy of Newsbusters:

CHRIS CUOMO (ABC NEWS) (Off-camera) All right. And joining us now is political commentator, Ann Coulter, whose book 'Godless: The Church of - Liberalism," what did I almost say there, liberalism, is out in paperback. There it is. A conservative's conservative, she's had some tough words lately for her own party.


CHRIS CUOMO (ABC NEWS) (Off-camera) But to begin with the tough words, some tough words for you by the three top candidates in response to what you had said, some were calling it a homosexual slur, you said it was a taunt. They all came out when you were talking about John Edwards and said, 'This was wrong. We must deny it." Fair criticism of you or a shift towards the tolerant among the GOP?

ANN COULTER (POLITICAL COMMENTATOR) No, no. There were, I was denounced all over. All over. I think the one that hurt the most was, was from I'

CHRIS CUOMO (ABC NEWS) Off-camera) Why?


CHRIS CUOMO (ABC NEWS) (Off-camera) You...

ANN COULTER (POLITICAL COMMENTATOR) Though about the same time Bill Maher said - and by the way, I did not call John Edwards the F-word. I said I couldn't talk about him because you go into rehab for using that word.

CHRIS CUOMO (ABC NEWS) (Off-camera) You say you were you - you were joking.

ANN COULTER (POLITICAL COMMENTATOR) About the - oh yeah. I wouldn't, I wouldn't insult gays by comparing them to John Edwards. Now, that would be mean. But about the same time, you know, Bill Maher was not joking and saying he wished Dick Cheney had been killed in a terrorist attack. So I've learned my lesson. If I'm gonna say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.

So this is what gets posted on the Edward's campaign website:

Why did the Edwards camp post that cleverly edited clip? Fundraising of course! Guess they haven't raised enough Coulter Cash.

Of course that wasn't enough. Next up...Elizabeth Edwards:

Coulter asks why Silky Pony didn't call himself. Ann would have blasted John into the stratosphere had he called, but Elizabeth is untouchable because she has cancer. And don't forget, the Edwards campaign is not above using Elizabeth to scrape together a little cash.

Of course the one who is laughing all the way to the bank right now is...Ann Coulter. Godless just went paperback, and she probably sold 100,000 extra copies thanks to Elizabeth Edwards.

Newsbusters is all over this story, and reminds us that it's awfully ironic that the Edwards campaign is so upset over Coulter's "hate speech".

(Update): Hot Air has the video...even Coulter-friendly Fox News is taking Ann's quote out of context.

The big fat ass needs to lose some weight update...

Oh yeah...that would be me.

Anyway, I had my follow up appointment today with the doctor. Looks like I am in pretty darn good health after all.

I've lost 18 lbs since my medical scare...all by avoiding the garbage I was eating before. I haven't seen a chip, french fry, scoop of ice cream or slice of bacon since my trip to the hospital. And I'm not really craving those things either.

My doc cleared me to exercise. I get a fair amount of exercise anyway from my coaching activities and my occasional rounds of golf, but I intend on stepping up my time on the stairmaster. My goal is to drop another 30lbs before my next appointment in November.

My blood sugar is a little high...but I fell considerably short of being on Diabetes alert. My doctor was at first concerned about that, but now is comfortable that a change in diet alone will keep me away from the insulin needle. Also, my once skyrocketing blood pressure has been measuring at or below normal in the past week. And my cholesterol is actually below average as well.

The lone concern...I have a small heartbeat irregularity. The cardiologist who reviewed my results believes it is nothing to get too alarmed about...but I am to return for more tests if I have even mild chest pain or tightness, or shortness of breath. But there doesn't seem to be any arterial blockage at basically I am in good health.

Oh yeah. Except for the fact that I am still too darn fat. But I'm working on that...

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A contrast in dignity

Mary Sanchez of the Kansas City Star is a liberal who writes for a liberal rag newspaper. But Sanchez pens this tasteful rememberance of an American Hero, and the story of the "other" parent who chose a different path to honor his fallen son:

Poetry and lore speak of a mother’s grief, a mother’s tears for a deceased child. So perhaps the spotlight was bound to be captured by Cindy Sheehan after her soldier-son’s death in 2004.

For Pat Sheehan, the very private role of simply continuing to be Casey’s father has been enough — until recently, that is. In a blip of publicity, Cindy Sheehan bowed out of her diminishing limelight, announcing that she would stop her activism against the Iraq war. In doing so, she declared that Casey Sheehan “did indeed die for nothing.”

That statement ended Pat Sheehan’s silence.

Casey American Hero

He called me after reading a column in which I disputed his ex-wife’s assertion. Yes, he told me, Casey Sheehan’s death mattered. We continued talking and e-mailing, and he made me realize what should have been so obvious — that a soldier’s life is what is significant, not his death or the activism it might inspire.

One problematic aspect of Cindy Sheehan’s celebrity has been that her deceased son got lost in the news coverage. Nobody knows much about how Casey Sheehan lived or how he died.

Sanchez hits the nail right on the head. As she points out, Casey Sheehan was a selfless hero with a steadfast faith...something that got lost as his mother Cindy was on her rock star tour:

Pat Sheehan is pained that people know so little about the religious devotion of his son. Casey Sheehan so loved his Catholic faith that he considered the priesthood, before realizing how much he wanted to have children. As a child, he would pull a nightstand from against the wall, cover it with a blanket and “play” Mass, enlisting his sister to be a nun.

As a teen, he earned the rank of Eagle Scout. Later he would say that the military was “kind of like Boy Scouts, but with guns.” Casey Sheehan signed up before the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks. His service had nothing to do with revenge, his father says.

Rather, it was a way to practice his faith. Casey Sheehan wanted to be a chaplain’s assistant. Faced with a wait to become one, he chose to be a wheel mechanic instead. As a soldier, he was always the first to greet a visiting priest. If no priest came to say Mass, he would lead a prayer.

Pat Sheehan has only recently learned the details of his son’s death from Martha Raddatz, author of The Long Road Home, a book about the Sadr City uprising.

Sadr City, Iraq. April 4, 2004. A platoon of soldiers was ambushed by sniper fire, trapped in an alley when their Humvees broke down. Army Spc. Casey Sheehan was among the men who volunteered for the rescue of the dead.

Actually, he pulled rank, taking the place of a private.The convoy was fighting its way through more sniper fire when a high-velocity bullet pierced Casey Sheehan’s Kevlar helmet and ricocheted against his head. He was put on a helicopter; doctors desperately tried to save his life. A rosary was in his pocket.

Casey Sheehan was one of eight soldiers who died that day.

Pat Sheehan does not agree with the war that took his son's life. But instead of using his son's death as a platform to protest the war, he took a more dignified approach and is choosing to honor Casey's life. And despite the painful divorce, he refrains from taking a swipe at Cindy:

Pat Sheehan disagrees with his ex-wife’s tactics, but he does not wish to be pitted against her. Philosophically, they are close on their views on the war. “But I would rather that Casey be viewed with dignity,” he told me.

In an e-mail, Pat Sheehan wrote: “I haven’t quite found my voice yet as Casey’s father, but make no mistake, I feel much of the same pain and sense of loss that his Mother does. I have chosen to deal with it in my own way. For all of my children, Casey, Carly, Andy and Jane, I am attempting to move forward with a little grace and dignity. They deserve nothing less.”

B. Hussein Obama brings Christians together...(updated...bumped)

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) - Sen. Barack Obama told a church convention Saturday that some right- wing evangelical leaders have exploited and politicized religious beliefs in an effort to sow division.

"Somehow, somewhere along the way, faith stopped being used to bring us together and started being used to drive us apart. It got hijacked," the Democratic presidential candidate said in remarks prepared for delivery before the national meeting of the United Church of Christ.

"Part of it's because of the so-called leaders of the Christian Right, who've been all too eager to exploit what divides us," the Illinois senator said.

Obama then went on to give specific examples and call out by name those false teachers who have misled the flock.

Wait. No he didn't.

B. Hussein Obama believes in the separation of church and state...except of course when he's trolling for votes (see sign on balcony)

"At every opportunity, they've told evangelical Christians that Democrats disrespect their values and dislike their church, while suggesting to the rest of the country that religious Americans care only about issues like abortion and gay marriage, school prayer and intelligent design," according to an advance copy of his speech.

You know, because us evangelical Christians are too stupid to realize that abortion and gay marriage goes against what the Bible teaches us. And those are values of the Democratic party (and of B. Hussein Obama). But we didn't realize it. Those evil evangelical pastors have to keep reminding us.

"There was even a time when the Christian Coalition determined that its number one legislative priority was tax cuts for the rich," Obama said. "I don't know what Bible they're reading, but it doesn't jibe with my version."

...Obama declared, and then he turned to his version to begin to quote scripture.

Wait. No he didn't.

Now who is really being divisive? The Christian Coalition has NEVER determined that "tax cuts for the rich was its "number one" priority, but B. Hussein doesn't need the truth to set us free.

Well at least B. Hussein Obama then went on to suggest ways to bridge the gap between evangelicals and more liberal church denominations like the United Church of Christ that support abortion and gay marriage.

Wait. No he didn't.

Update: Ann Coulter was on Hannity and Colmes last night to discuss B. Hussein's comments and as usual, Alan was her little whipping boy:

Yes...the clip is ripped from "Newshounds" who ask the question: How much blacker can a pot get than Coulter?

Of course those morons don't understand that Coulter is a satirist...B. Hussein is running for President.

Ann's two best lines:

I do think anyone named "B. Hussein Obama" should avoid using the words "hijack" and "religion" in the same sentence.

Response to "as children of God, we believe in the worth and dignity of every human being": We actually do believe it which is why we don't think you should be puncturing the skulls of fetuses and sucking the brains out.

Exit question: Does anyone have a more fake smile than Laura Schwartz?

Monday, June 25, 2007


OK...I hate soccer. But I love Mexican soccer announcers:


This match was in Chicago. So I am guessing that all of those fans rooting for El Tri made the trip up from Mexico, right?

Because we all know that the immigrants from Mexico want to be good Americans and assimilate into our culture.

Hot Air was first...

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Michelle calls out Rosie, Amnesty International USA on real civil rights abuses

This morning Michelle Malkin challenges the bleeding hearts, who are so critical of America's alleged abuse of civil rights, to take on the cause of some people who really need help:

Today I am joining blogs Gateway Pundit, Ali Eteraz, and Iran Focus in reprinting the latest batch of Iranian repression photos being distributed by the regime’s state-run FARS News agency and ISNA. The innocent young men in the photos were beaten, humiliated, and arrested for wearing Western clothing and hairstyles. It is in the public interest to spread these photos far and wide. The images should be seared onto the global conscience:

Question: Will these photos be blared across the front pages of the international media with as much disgust and condemnation as the photos of Abu Ghraib or the manufactured Gitmo Koran-flushing riots?

Answer: Fat chance.

Question: What do leftist apologists for the Iranian regime have to say about the brutal, appalling, and escalating crackdown on human rights? Yeah, you, Rosie.

Answer: Nothing.

Of course Amnesty International takes the lead in decrying these horrible abuses, right?

So what does Amnesty International USA have to say about the Iranian human rights debacle on its homepage today? Nothing. Instead, the site promotes two campaigns for Darfur and a lead story about the campaign to secure habeas corpus rights for terror suspects at Guantanamo Bay:

A challenge to Rosie and Amnesty International USA members and America’s progressive left (I know there are a few on the story, but they are far between): How about taking a day off from Bush-bashing and America-blaming to raise your voices against the mullahcracy’s brutal human rights abuses?

Or how about embedding these videos so that the cries of Iranian women and girls don’t go unheard:

Michelle has more photos and videos...make sure you go there to view.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Dirtbag track coach preys on teenager...then marries her

Before I get rolling on this, it's time for some full disclosure. I coach basketball...high school girls basketball. For a number of reasons every time I see a story like this I get really pissed off:

The Hagers are trying to figure out how life went off track for their teenage daughter, Windy.

They envisioned that life for the good student and promising athlete would be filled with dreams of the prom and college, but that all changed this week when Windy, 16, married her high school track coach.

At South Brunswick High School in North Carolina, Windy's greatest passion was track and field. But that passion led her down a troubling path.

During Windy's freshman year, her 38-year-old track coach, Brenton Wuchae, began taking a more active interest in her, offering to give the 14-year-old rides home from practice.

Windy with her new predator husband

The first warning to parents: A coach should never offer to give your kid a ride home. Certainly never by matter how "trustworthy" the coach is. I do my best to arrange rides with other parents or students for my players...and in the occasions when I need to give kids rides, there are always at least two of them in my car at all times.

Adult coaches need to hold themselves completely above reproach at all times...especially in a high school setting. High school kids talk. A female athlete is seen leaving campus alone with a coach...and kids will spread rumors. It's just not smart.

"He just seemed like a genuine guy, like he was there for the kids," said Windy's father, Dennis Hager.But the Hagers eventually grew uneasy. Their phone bills showed text messages between Wuchae and Windy as late as 2 a.m.

OK, there's your next clue. Except for my team captains (who are in charge of reaching the other kids for confirmation of practice times, etc.) I don't have my players' phone numbers in my phone. If I need to reach them, I try to call the parents...or I send email's with the parents cc'd on everything. I also don't take IM's from my players...ever.

The 2 a.m. text-messages should have been enough for the school to instantly fire Wuchae and begin a criminal investigation. But the school passed the buck:

The Hagers confronted Wuchae. "He assured me there was nothing like that going on, [and that] they were just friends. His intentions were purely appropriate," Dennis said.

Not satisfied with that answer, the Hagers turned to the school district, which spoke to the coach.

The principal of the high school wrote to the Hagers, "I have seen nothing but a cooperative attitude from the teacher, and to the best of my knowledge, he has not had any contact with Windy since then."

What a load of crap. You have a coach contacting a player at 2am! That right there is all you need to know something completely inappropriate is occurring. But the school district did nothing.

One more thing. I make sure my players understand this from DAY ONE: I am their coach. Not their father-figure, big brother or friend. I am 42 years old...if I ever described a relationship with a player as a "friendship", that should instantly disqualify me from a position of authority (teacher, coach, pastor etc.) with teenagers.

The Hagers contacted police; they even tried to get a restraining order.

"We've tried everybody. We've been to the law. We've been to the school board," Betty said. "Our family has come and tried to talk to her. We've had people on the phone with her for hours — family, friends. We've been to our pastor asking for guidance. We've been to his pastor."

Meanwhile, the Hagers say Windy withdrew, refusing to speak to them until she asked them to sign a consent form so that she and her coach — a man more than twice her age — could get married.

Although anguished, her weary parents gave in.

Monday, Windy and Wuchae married, and he resigned from the school.

This is a clear case of a sick adult preying on kids. Maybe he thinks he is in love with this girl, but I guarantee you that Wuchae was calculating in his manipulation of Windy. 14-16 year olds are highly impressionable and I sure Windy was both flattered and overwhelmed by the attention he gave her.

This girl has had her youth stolen from her. Unfortunately she won't realize that until a few years have passed and she realizes that she married a man who took advantage of her youth. And since Wuchae certainly appears to have a proclivity for preying on teenagers, it shouldn't surprise anyone if he ends up repeating this behavior.

I don't mean to frighten or discourage parents of kids involved in sports, but this stuff happens all the time. Certainly 99% of all youth coaches are involved for all the right reasons, but unfortunately this type of indiscretion occurs much more than is reported in the media.

The following is a story reprinted from the San Diego Union-Tribune (no link because it is archived from 2001 and you need a password to access it), involving a local girls basketball coach who took one of his players to Mexico for 10 days:

EL CAJON -- The West Hills High School girl who ran away to Mexico with a volunteer basketball coach last fall has filed suit against the coach and Grossmont Unified High School District.

The suit by student Chelsea Olayan and her mother, Anita Miller, contends that the district was negligent because it failed to supervise the coach, Jeffrey Gagne.

In September, Gagne, a 43-year-old married father of two, fled to Mexico with Olayan, then 16. They were missing for six days before returning to the United States, where Gagne was arrested at the San Ysidro international border crossing.

He was sentenced in December to nine months in jail after pleading no contest to one count of child abduction and one count of sexual contact with a minor. Although a no-contest plea technically does not admit guilt, it is recorded as a criminal conviction.

The lawsuit, filed Monday in El Cajon Superior Court, contends that school officials were on notice about Gagne's "sexual misconduct and inappropriate sexual behavior" with female athletes. The suit said the district received complaints about Gagne in 1998 from a student and her mother.

The suit also says that, in 1999, two West Hills basketball coaches learned from several parents that their children felt uncomfortable around Gagne because his behavior at times was inappropriate and "too intimate."

The suit does not specify the amount of money damages sought. In December, however, the school board rejected a claim -- a precursor to a lawsuit -- from Miller that sought $1 million in damages.

The superintendent of the Grossmont Union High School District reacted with dismay to the lawsuit.

"This case is really a matter that involves individual responsibility," said Superintendent Granger Ward. "The conduct of Mr. Gagne was inappropriate. He admitted to his guilt and served time as a result.

"It is unfair to attempt to shift the blame to the district for this criminal misconduct by Mr. Gagne. Unfortunately, this case appears to be a matter of attempting to go after deep pockets."

While it might be true that Olayan and Miller might have been trying to make a little coin off the school district, the lesson for parents is this: Don't rely on a school district to take accountability. Coaches generally are required to go through the FBI background check and get fingerprinted, but parents should still watch out for the signs that were so evident in the Windy Hager case. Be diligent and insist on this from coaches who instruct your kids:

1. No one-on-one interaction with players away from the field or court of play. Any talks with players can be done in front of parents, other coaches, or team captains.

2. Set and adhere to guidelines for contacting players outside of games or practice. No late night private phone calls or emails.

3. Be aware of coaches who buy players gifts or write personal "encouraging" notes. I once knew a youth baseball coach who bought one of his kids a poster of his favorite major league player. Four months later, that coach was arrested for molesting that kid. Which leads me to my next point:

4. Don't assume that just because the coach is the same gender as your kid or is married, that you can relax your standards.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

1001 Uses for the Koran

If Salman Rushdie gets a fatwa for writing a crappy and boring book Muslims fly into a murderous rage over, what will Misha at the Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler get for this?

Don't click on this link. Just don't. I'm warning you.

(An aside: Can I get a fatwa for reprinting Misha's work? Please?!)

Bird Rock Bandit Cravens a "good kid" with clueless parents

Update June 28, 2008 here
Yeah...maybe this is gonna be a little unfair. I know that Seth Craven's parents are in anguish right now over the fact that their kid probably helped murder Emery Kauanui. But how often do you hear parents admit that they did a crappy job raising their little thug?

Of course it didn't happen in this case either:

SAN DIEGO – The parents of Seth Cravens, one of four young La Jolla men accused of murdering professional surfer Emery Kauanui, portray their son as a “good person with a good heart,” but also a young man who was aggressive and lacked direction.

Making their first public comments since Kauanui's Memorial Day weekend beating death, William and Karen Cravens said they knew nothing about victims' statements and police reports accusing their 21-year-old son of being the assailant in a string of unprovoked beatings over the past five years.

“I'm not aware of any of that,” William Cravens, 65, said during a news conference at the office of their son's attorneys, where they were flanked by three of their 14 grown children and eight of their 52 grandchildren.

Well at least give Mr. Cravens credit for being a stud. 14 kids! Of course Mrs. Cravens deserves some credit too:

The Cravens insisted their son was innocent of murder in an incident that witnesses said began as a fair fight between Kauanui and one of the four accused, but ended in a fatal, four-on-one beating.

“He did not do what he is accused of doing,” said Karen Cravens. “There is no doubt in my mind or in my husband's.”

Please. Isn't there at least a little doubt?

Cravens is named as a suspect by San Diego police in two cases: a February battery of a man outside of a La Jolla Boulevard taco shop and a 2004 incident in which Cravens is accused of threatening a man with “great bodily harm.”

Several other victims have told police Cravens beat them up without provocation at parties, outside of bars, and on the street, officials have said.

Police have said they are looking into at least 15 assaults connected to the Bird Rock Bandits, several of which surfaced after publicity over Kauanui killing.

“We're not aware of any police reports,” William Cravens said. He added that he and his wife did not know their son had been banned from The Shack, a La Jolla Boulevard bar, for picking fights with strangers, as a bartender there reported.

You'd think Seth's lawyer might have clued the parents in by now...but of course, he's a lawyer:

Alan Spears, an attorney for Cravens, said his client's bond was excessive and that Cravens should not be charged with murder.

Though the defendants boasted on the Internet of being part of a “crew” calling themselves the Bird Rock Bandits, Spears scoffed at that idea.

“This notion that Mr. Cravens and the others are part of this gang is absolutely preposterous,” the lawyer said.

Uh....right. Except that Spears apparently forgets that "Mr. Cravens and the others" were bragging about their thuggish exploits on the Bird Rock Bandit's My Space page. I guess being part of gang is pretty cool until you kill someone.

Good kid...non-gang member Seth Cravens flashes gang signs with the man he helped murder (allegedly)

But still...Seth Cravens is a good kid who enjoys reading and calling his mom:

William and Karen Cravens characterized Seth as a loving, caring son, brother and uncle, who calls every night from jail and e-mails them daily.

“Overall, he is doing good,” his mother said. “There are good days and bad days. He loves to read and he has gotten a lot of reading done.”

To be fair, it's possible that Mr. and Mrs. Cravens have a good reason for not accepting responsibility for the values instilled in know, "getting wasted, partying, surfing and womping":

The elder Cravens was convicted himself in the mid-1990s on a federal charge involving a $74-million fraud while he was head of the Polynesian Cultural Center in Honolulu. He served three years of supervised probation after testifying on the government's behalf.

The Cravens, who have been married 46 years, said that while they knew their son to have an aggressive nature since he was a child, they were never contacted by teachers or counselors about his behavior and do not believe their son has an anger problem.

William Cravens conceded Seth had “done a little too much partying in his young life.” He added that his son “likes to mix it up.” His wife said Seth was not one to pick a fight, but “he maybe doesn't walk away from them.”

Nice kid you raised there. A "good" kid with aggressive tendencies who likes to read and call his mom, party, get into fights and does not have an anger problem. Oh yeah...and who is in jail for murder.

Nobody told me there'd be dreams like these...

Strange dreams indeed:

Last night I dreamed that I was playing basketball and New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson was on my team.

Instead of a ball, we were using a stapler.

Every time I passed Richardson the ball/stapler, he dropped it. After a few possessions, he was begging me not to pass the ball/stapler to him again.

The ball/stapler didn't dribble very well.

Most peculiar, mama...

Quick Post before I hit the I-5...

Doing the SD-LA shuttle a quick post:

From Say Anything.


I think that says it all.


Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Matthews caught speaking truth to Moonbats

Chrissy Matthews tells his moonbat viewers what we already know about MSNBC:

Dilbert takes aim at "greens"

I don't think Scott Adams will be invited to an Al Gore symposium on Global Warming in the near future:

Click each strip to make bigger

I'm thinking this is going to be a theme this week in Dilbert. I have a link under "funnies" on the right hand side of the page if you want to follow along...

How in the heck...

...are the Chinese able to do this, when we can't get a border fence put up?

China plans to build a highway on the side of Mount Everest to ease the Olympic torch's journey to the peak of the world's tallest mountain before the 2008 Beijing Games, state media reported yesterday.

Construction of the road, budgeted at $19.7 million, would turn a 67-mile rough path from the foot of the mountain to a base camp at 17,060 feet "into a blacktop highway fenced by undulating guardrails," the official New China News Agency said.

The agency said construction, which would start next week, would take about four months. The highway would become a major route for tourists and mountaineers, it said.

That's 67 miles of paved road at 17,000 foot elevation in four months. Maybe we should outsource the contract for our border fence to the Chinese. Because when it comes to border security, it certainly looks like they know what the hell they're doing:

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

If I were King of the World...

New edicts if I were the King of the World:

1. No laugh tracks allowed. Ever. I won't watch any CBS "comedy" because they all have those retarded laugh tracks. That 1/2 Hour News Hour trainwreck on Fox News? Can't sit through four minutes of it before the laugh track makes me want to launch a brick through my screen. Besides...with the exception of Dennis Miller, that show sucks. Which leads me to my next edict...

2. Fox News will stick to news and news analysis. No attempts to be funny. Geraldo is banished to the "E" Channel where he can fawn over Paris Hilton all he wants and present his retarded argument for amnesty to the brainiacs who watch that channel...and couldn't care less. Dennis Miller gets his own hour instead.

Dennis Miller addresses the Global Warming Angst Squad

Dennis Miller's segment on the otherwise-lame 1/2 Hour News Hour:

Memo to Fox News: Give Miller his own 1/2 Hour News Hour and get rid of the other dorks. And lose the moronic sound track. Miller doesn't need it.

Monday, June 18, 2007

A message from John Edwards...

"Just a reminder y'all...there is no global war on terror. But there are two Americas..."

Prayer back in public schools!

Of course the Bible and the 10 Commandments are still banned. Oh...and no praying to Jehovah!

OAKLAND, Calif., June 12 — The lesson began with the striking of a Tibetan singing bowl to induce mindful awareness.

With the sound of their new school bell, the fifth graders at Piedmont Avenue Elementary School here closed their eyes and focused on their breathing, as they tried to imagine “loving kindness” on the playground.

Wait. That sounds like prayer to me. Or maybe it's brainwashing:

This is what is known as mindfulness training, in which stress-reducing techniques drawn from Buddhist meditation are wedged between reading and spelling tests.

Students fold their hands and close their eyes in prayer mindfulness brainwashing training

During a five-week pilot program at Piedmont Avenue Elementary, Miss Megan, the “mindful” coach, visited every classroom twice a week, leading 15 minute sessions on how to have “gentle breaths and still bodies.” The sound of the Tibetan bowl reverberated at the start and finish of each lesson.

Now let me get this straight. Public schools can brainwash kids with Buddhist incantations, but have a Christian prayer at a football game and the ACLU comes marching in?

I don't have kids. If I ever do, there is NO WAY they are going to public school.

Monday Morning Boingo

It's Monday and I'm unmotivated. I need a pick-me-up:

Gee...I'll bet their football team sucks

...since tackling and physical contact are kinda important, ya know.

And you can rule out such dangerous events as the drama department's production of Oklahoma.

Because at Kilmer Middle School, you keep your hands to yourself:

Fairfax County (VA) middle school student Hal Beaulieu hopped up from his lunch table one day a few months ago, sat next to his girlfriend and slipped his arm around her shoulder. That landed him a trip to the school office.

Among his crimes: hugging.

All touching -- not only fighting or inappropriate touching -- is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: "NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!"

Just say "No" to Oklahoma!

Of course once you allow "high-fiving", it's just such a slippery slope:

Deborah Hernandez, Kilmer's principal, said the rule makes sense in a school that was built for 850 students but houses 1,100. She said that students should have their personal space protected and that many lack the maturity to understand what is acceptable or welcome.

"You get into shades of gray," Hernandez said. "The kids say, 'If he can high-five, then I can do this.' "

Typically, she said, only repeat offenders or those breaking other rules are reprimanded. "You have to have an absolute rule with students, and wiggle room and good judgment on behalf of the staff," Hernandez said.

I'm guessing Ms. Hernandez won't be applying for a position with the Boulder, Colorado school district anytime soon.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Slum sweet slum...

A Moonbattery two-fer...

Turns out Nobel-prize winning carpenter Jimmuh Carter isn't so handy with a hammer and nails:

Mary Zeigler was the proud owner of a low-cost home in Jacksonville's Fairway Oaks development, built by volunteers who included Jimmy the Dhimmi himself, as well as wife Rosalynn. She still owns the home, but she's no longer so proud:

"I've got a 25-year mortgage, and I've got stuff that needs to be addressed or I'm just paying my mortgage in vain, because I won't have a house in 25 years because it will be falling apart."

She's not the only Fairway Oaks resident with problems. Of 56 who answered a survey, 41 reported cracked foundations, 22 reported cracked walls, and 48 complained that their houses were infested with insects and/or rodents, a common problem in houses with holes in them.

OK...not Jimmuh's actual work, but you get the idea...

What about THIS, Geraldo?

Van Helsing at Moonbattery has the heartbreaking story of 10-year old Alejandra Gutierrez who was raped and murdered by an illegal alien.

Geraldo Rivera likes to trumpet that illegal aliens are less likely to commit crimes than American citizens.

I wonder how Alejandra's parents feel about that.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Breaking News! Bush amends border security/amnesty bill

Scrappleface has the latest update on the changes President Bush has made to the illegal alien amnesty immigration reform bill :

(2007-06-15) — President George Bush, in an effort to address conservatives’ dual concerns about border security and the rule of law, today said the revived immigration reform bill would finish the U.S.-Mexico border fence by fining illegal aliens to pay for it and requiring each one to build a section of the fence with his own hands.

With the U.S.-Mexico border stretching more than 1,951 miles, and estimates that 20 million illegal aliens already inhabit the United States, President Bush said the measure would require each “currently undocumented future citizen” to build about six inches of fencing.

Congressman Duncan Hunter is said to be on board with the President:

“as long as the illegal aliens building the fence face north when they do it, and head south when they’re done.”

If I were the king of the world

I am watching the US Open golf tournament and I think I've finally had it.

So begins a series that I shall call "If I were the king of the world" (with apologies to 3 Dog Night).

My first edict:

Any moron who yells either "You da Man!" or "Get in the hole!" at a televised PGA golf tournament, shall be forcibly ejected and sentenced to serving drinks to boozed up lesbians during the Dinah Shore weekend in Palm Springs.

My "progressive" alma mater is guilty of segregation

Before I get into this, let me say...I love UCLA. I love the education it provided me, I love the life experiences I had there, and of course I love those 11 National Championship banners hanging at Pauley Pavillion.

But one thing that bothered me was the constant indoctrination into ethnic, gender and sexual "sensitivity" that reigned (and continues to reign) on that campus.

During my orientation weekend, one of the first things I was told was that 10% of the student population was gay. From then on, I looked around each class I took and tried to figure out which 10% were gay...for example if my class had 30 students, three of the students HAD to be gay because that was what I was told.

The morning of my very first class at UCLA (business calculus) the teacher was late. His last name was "Chang". The kid sitting next to me mused (very innocently) "I think I saw him in the halls, is he Oriental?"

To which an angry co-ed behind us responded, "Don't say that! The proper term is Asian. What you said is offensive!"

Welcome to UCLA.

During my time there, a fraternity lost its charter because of a Cinco-de-Mayo party. Not an out-of-control party where anyone was physically assaulted or underage students were found consuming alcohol (although I'm sure some were...c'mon, it was a frat party).

No, the fraternity was shut down for two years because of a tequila worm on a party advertisement that was an "insensitive" depiction of Hispanics. Of course the dozen or so Hispanics who were IN the fraternity didn't seem to mind, but a bunch of Mechistas marched and then threatened to march again. That was all it took to shut the frat down for two years.

My alma mater prides itself on its diversity and its sensitivity to every special group that might be on campus. But this has gotten ridiculous:

Commencement weekend is hard to plan at the University of California, Los Angeles. The university now has so many separate identity-group graduations that scheduling them not to conflict with one another is a challenge. The women’s studies graduation and the Chicana/Chicano studies graduation are both set for 10 AM Saturday. The broader Hispanic graduation, “Raza,” is in near-conflict with the black graduation, which starts just an hour later.

Planning was easier before a new crop of ethnic groups pushed for inclusion. Students of Asian heritage were once content with the Asian–Pacific Islanders ceremony. But now there are separate Filipino and Vietnamese commencements, and some talk of a Cambodian one in the future. Years ago, UCLA sponsored an Iranian graduation, but the school’s commencement office couldn’t tell me if the event was still around. The entire Middle East may yet be a fertile source for UCLA commencements.

All these commencements are sponsored by UCLA and paid for by California tax dollars. A waste of money? You bet, but you'd better not try to deny any of these groups their own special ceremony...the ACLU will come calling.

Of course the ACLU would also come calling if white/male/protestant/straight students wanted their own commencement.

The funny thing is, the graduates who belong to these groups don't even show up for these ceremonies:

Not all ethnic and racial graduations are well attended. The 2003 figures at UCLA showed that while 300 of 855 Hispanic students attended, only 170 out of 1,874 Asian-Americans did.

But it's all part of the indoctrination UCLA students receive. See...we can't just proudly identify ourselves as Bruins:

Some students are presumably eligible for four or five graduations. A gay student with a Native American father and a Filipino mother could attend the Asian, Filipino, and American Indian ceremonies, plus the mainstream graduation and the Lavender Graduation for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered students.

Graduates usually wear identity-group markers—a Filipino stole or a Vietnamese sash, for instance, or a rainbow tassel at the Lavender event. Promoters of ethnic and racial graduations often talk about the strong sense of community that they favor. But it is a sense of community based on blood, a dubious and historically dangerous organizing principle.

And just as it did when I started at UCLA in '89, the indoctrination begins that very first orientation weekend:

But the core reason for separatist graduations is the obvious one: on campus, assimilation is a hostile force, the domestic version of American imperialism. On many campuses, identity-group training begins with separate freshman orientation programs for nonwhites, who arrive earlier and are encouraged to bond before the first Caucasian freshmen arrive. Some schools have separate orientations for gays as well. Administrations tend to foster separatism by arguing that bias is everywhere, justifying double standards that favor identity groups.

Would I send my kid to UCLA now? bet your ass I would. But I'd make sure that kid was insulated against the new separatism and prepared to defend against its idiocy.

Friday, June 15, 2007

The Turds on Capitol Hill (updated)

Most of us can agree that something stinks up on Capitol Hill. Approval of the job Congress is doing is at a 10-year low, and it looks like someone has left them a personal message:

According to a Capitol Hill newspaper, police are unable to solve the mystery of the "caca caper."

"Usually, if a turd gets into the Senate, it’s because he or she was elected," Emily Heil reports for Roll Call. "But on Wednesday, several large piles of actual, nonmetaphorical 'No. 2' found their way into the Capitol, and the source isn’t yet clear."

Heil continues, "On Wednesday afternoon, Capitol Police cordoned off a section of the hallway on the third floor of the Senate side of the Capitol, where at least three piles of the stuff were causing a stench — and a stir.

At first, the word circulating among the staff was that a visiting child had fallen ill while in the gallery. But then the prevailing theory was that the foul stuff had come from an adult or group of adults making a yet-to-be-determined political statement."

According to the paper, "Reports also circulated that the yucky stuff had been smeared on seats in the gallery overlooking the chamber floor, and the gallery remained closed hours after the incident was first noted."

I don't know quite what is happening with the sudden explosion of turd-related news. Of course we can be assured that we will have a stink emmanating from Washington as long as this fool has a job:

(Update): Alas, as David Limbaugh points out, the stench from atop the Hill won't be dissipating any time soon:

Professional poll-watcher and persistent president-slanderer Harry Reid, who also moonlights as Senate Majority Leader, is proving himself to be a menace and a brutish boor.

Reid joined House Speaker and fellow president-slanderer Nancy Pelosi in sending a letter to President Bush berating him for not listening to the will of the American people on Iraq. If Reid were truly interested in deferring to the will of the American people, he would tender his resignation today -- not to mention get off the amnesty bandwagon.

Luckily for Reid, we have a republic, not a pure democracy with ongoing votes of confidence, so his job will be secure until the next election, despite his well-earned 19 percent approval rating and 45 percent disapproval rating, according to Rasmussen Reports.

Join the celebration!

Preston over at 6MB is hosting a celebration of something or other that began yesterday. As usual he's a little confused...but go on over and join the party.

Commenter Yiddish Steel had this contribution to the celebration. Which inspired me to add this:

To of the greatest moments in Rock history.

Will somebody PLEASE put a muzzle on this moron? (UPDATE)

I wonder how our men and women in the military feel whenever this weasel opens his mouth...

Bill at INDC Journal analyzes Harry's latest bout with verbal diarrhea.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Da Governator speaks truth to "immigrants" (Update-Video added)

Uh oh. You just know the $#!&storm that is about to occur now that our governor has said this:

"You've got to turn off the Spanish television set," Schwarzenegger said at the 25th annual National Association of Hispanic Journalists convention, which included many who produce Spanish-language material.

"It's that simple. You've got to learn English," he said. "I know this sounds odd and this is the politically incorrect thing to say and I'm going to get myself in trouble. But I know that when I came to this country, I very rarely spoke German to anyone."

The Republican governor, an Austrian immigrant, was responding to a question about how to improve Latino academic performance.

Here's the thing. HE'S RIGHT! Instead of accusing Arnold of being insensitive to immigrants, they should look to him as the example of how immigrants can succeed if they assimilate to our culture, instead of staying immersed in theirs.

But of course, there was whining to be done:

Schwarzenegger last year angered some Latino leaders by observing that Mexican immigrants have problems succeeding in the United States because "they try to stay Mexican." He hammered at the same point Wednesday in San Jose, saying that immigrants from Germany or France have an easier time learning English because they do not have many outlets to speak their native tongues.

"You're just forced to speak English, and that just makes you learn the language faster," Schwarzenegger said. "It is much more difficult and much more challenging when you are ... let's say, Latino. Because you have so many Latinos, as I see at the Capitol in Sacramento, there are so many Latinos who speak Spanish all the time, they speak to each other in Spanish. So it makes it difficult to perfect their English skills as quickly as possible."

"They're busy working," remarked panelist Pilar Marrero, political editor of Spanish-language newspaper La OpiniĆ³n. "They don't have time to."

Marrero seemed to grow visibly tense as Schwarzenegger made his case against Spanish-language media, and the governor apologized at one point after he said not to read Spanish-language newspapers.

"Spanish media is there to do what the English media doesn't do, which is to serve the immigrants," Marrero said afterward.

Sara Shakir, managing news producer of Radio Bilingue Inc., a national Latino public radio network based in Fresno, was among those who couldn't believe he would say that, given the audience.

"Here he was, sitting in front of hundreds of journalists whose job it is to create information for people in the language they understand, and reflects their diversity and cultural heritage," she said, "and saying, 'Let's obliterate all that.' "

Cecilia Alvear, a former TV news producer, was only half kidding when she said, "What? And give up my telenovelas?" referring to Spanish-language soap operas. "His message seems to be, 'Let's be monolingual,' " Alvear said.

YES! That's it! What would be wrong with everyone in the UNITED STATES being able to speak English!?!

That doesn't mean poor Ms. Alvear would have to "give up her telenovelas" or stop watching Sabado Gigante!. She already hablas inglais. It's all those other "immigrants" (I am refraining from using the term "aliens" because I wouldn't want to make Geraldo Rivera cry again) who haven't learned to speak English yet who should try language immersion.

It would seem normal that if I were to go live in another country that one of the first things I would do is begin to learn their language. My life would be easier. But the "immigration" community expects us to assimilate to them.'s the video:

Michelle makes Geraldo cry...(updated)


Hot Air of course has the video up first. Watch for the smoke coming out of Michelle's ears while she listens to Geraldo's inanity. Then notice the deer in the headlight look on Geraldo when Michelle goes into attack mode.

I'll have the video up here when it is available.

Update: It took a while, but here it is:

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Hey Bush! Another reason you can take your amnesty bill and shove it!

Ann Coulter reminds us that George Bush cares more about illegal alien drug smugglers than the hard-working men and women who are doing their best to protect our borders:

Agent Ignacio Ramos and wife before he was thrown in jail and beaten

Ignacio Ramos and Jose Alonso Compean are normally the sort of Mexican-Americans Bush would tear up at while promoting amnesty for illegal aliens. Both served in the military and are taxpaying, law-abiding citizens. They've been risking their lives as Border Patrol agents for years.

Agent Compean back when BP agents were supposed to catch drug smugglers

Ramos was nominated for Border Patrol Agent of the Year in 2005. His nomination received a major setback when the Bush administration decided to put him in prison instead. Ramos and Compean are now serving more than 10 years apiece in solitary confinement for chasing a drug-running illegal alien back to Mexico.

Bush's pal, U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton, gave immunity to a Mexican drug dealer hauling a million dollars worth of drugs across the border so that the drug dealer could testify against two Border Patrol agents who shot him in the buttocks.

Dirtbag drug dealer and Johnny Sutton pal Osbaldo Aldrete-Davila

The border patrol agents were presumed guilty of an unlawful shooting because they neglected to fill out the proper paperwork. For busting a cap in the butt of a drug courier crossing the border illegally — who was so mortally wounded that he proceeded to scamper back to Mexico — they were supposed to spend five hours filling out paperwork. This is what the Bush administration means when it talks about a "cover-up." As U.S. prosecutor Debra Kanof said, "You have to report any discharge of a firearm."

Intriguingly, Kanof also says: "The Border Patrol pursuit policy prohibits the pursuit of someone." (Hence, the oft-heard warning of the border agent in hot pursuit, "Stop or I'll ... do absolutely nothing!")

But wait — that's not all! The Border Patrol agents also exceeded the speed limit. "In order to exceed the speed limit," Kanof said, "you have to get supervisor approval, and they did not." It's just so hard to fill out a written request to exceed the speed limit when you're off-roading at 65 mph. There's a whispering campaign suggesting that Ramos and Compean failed to use their turn signal.

As I understand it, you're also supposed to not cross the border illegally from Mexico with a van full of drugs. But the Bush administration has no interest in enforcing those laws. Ninety-eight percent of illegal aliens captured crossing the border illegally are not prosecuted. Those drugs are doing the job American drugs just won't do!

The Bush administration pulls out the big guns only for serious violations like a Border Patrol officer not filling out paperwork.

In addition to giving the illegal alien drug smuggler full immunity to testify against U.S. Border Patrol agents, the government gave him taxpayer-funded medical care for his buttocks wound, an unconditional border-crossing card, the right to sue the U.S. for "civil rights" violations, and a GAP gift card. The drug runner is also on the short-list to replace Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

He's now suing the U.S. for $5 million, but the Bush administration is hoping to bargain him down to $10 million.

That border-crossing card came in handy when the winged illegal alien brought in another load of drugs a short eight months later — for which he has still not been charged, nearly two years later. Who does he think he is? Rep. William Jefferson?

Johnny Sutton...friend to Mexican drug-runners

Bush's pal Sutton keeps defending his decision to prosecute Border Patrol agents for paperwork violations, rather than an illegal alien for drug trafficking, on the grounds that the drug dealer has not been charged with any crimes. Let's see, whose job is it to charge that Mexican drug runner with a crime? Why, I believe that would be Johnny Sutton!

President are supposed to DEFEND our country against drug smugglers, not cut deals with them. If you had any balls at all, you'd pardon Ramos and Compean, fire Sutton, lock up Aldrete-Davila, and then build a wall to keep future drug smugglers OUT of the US. Until you grow a pair:

It is SO on! (Updated/Bumped)

Last night on the O'Reilly Factor, Bill announced that he has arranged a cage match between Michelle Malkin and Geraldo Rivera to brawl over the illegal immigration issue. The pre-fight appetizer:

The battle is on Thursday night's O'Reilly Factor. Michelle is going to kick Geraldo's ass...

Update: Michelle lobs the first grenade:

As you follow the debate over the Bush-Kennedy immigration bill, keep this cardinal rule in mind: 99.99 percent of the lawmakers who promise you that they'll ensure the deportation of anyone who doesn't follow their new "guest-worker" regulations are either A) lying or B) completely clueless.

Rule No. 2: Anyone who plays the Enforcement equals Kicking-Down-Doors-And-Depriving-Babies-of-Mother's-Milk card (yes, that's you, Geraldo Rivera) is either A) lying or B) completely clueless.

Read her entire column.

So this is what happened to me

All this time, I thought I was eating healthy. The menu does say "salad".

Shame on you, Taco Bell...for making me believe that you were a heath food restaurant.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The Scat news you've been waiting for Sorry.

Headline writers across the country are having a blast with this story:

MARSHALLTOWN, Iowa - Police blame a woman named Butts for stealing toilet paper from a central Iowa courthouse, and while they're chuckling, the theft charge could put her in prison.

"She's facing potentially three years of incarceration for three rolls of toilet paper," Chief Lon Walker said, stifling a laugh as he talked to KCCI-TV about Suzanne Marie Butts. "See, I can't say it with a straight face."

Of course I'll not stoop to the level of those who would make light of this. The attorney for Ms. Butts is hoping to have this wiped clean from her record, but prosecutors say they have a huge pile of evidence against her.

Meanwhile, a London commuter saved the lives of several women by taking matter into his own hands:

A would-be murderer who defecated on trains to "purge" himself of inner voices urging him to kill has been detained indefinitely in a secure mental hospital.

Over several months Bonney Eberendu, 36, ran up a £50,000 damages bill as teams of "specialist cleaners" were forced to withdraw rolling stock from service and spend hours cleaning up after him.

A bus garage worker finally spotted him last October undressing on a double-decker, London's Southwark Crown Court heard.

Peter Zinner, prosecuting, said the defendant went on to explain that on no fewer than five occasions "he had observed women with the intention of doing a frenzied stabbing".

He added: "But he didn't carry out an act of murder because by defecating and smearing his excrement he purged himself of the urge to kill."

Had only Ms. Butts absconded to London with her, forget it.