Saturday, April 19, 2008

Alicia Keys (and me) be hatin' on gangsta rap...

...and actually that's a good thing. "Gangsta rap" is crap and not really music anyway. And besides, Alicia knows a deep dark secret...it was created by the government as a way to reduce the black population and to keep Tupac Shakur from becoming the "next" Martin Luther King:

"‘Gangsta rap’ was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. ‘Gangsta rap’ didn’t exist," the multi-platinum, Grammy-winning singer-songwriter states for the May issue of Blender magazine, further adding that, in her opinion, the feud between rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was also fueled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing".

Sounds like Alicia has been drinking this guy's Kool-Aid.

Of course many of her fans also listen to "gangsta rap". Her claim "disses" the "art" of "gansta rap". No doubt her publicity peeps and record company put her up to this:



Uh...have you ever heard a more confusing "clarification"? Perhaps she's been to the Barack Obama School for Clarifying Your Stupidity.

Gangsta Rapper and noted intellectual 50 Cent isn't havin' it:

"I don't like Alicia Keys no more though … the same reason why I said that I don't like Oprah Winfrey," 50 Cent toldThe Showbuzz. "I'm prejudice (sic). I don't like people who don't like me. If you don't like the content that I write because of my experiences; I am being who I am when I am writing it. I fall into that 'label' as far as you considering artists creating 'Gangsta music,' we fall into that.

"If she don't like that, (then) I don't like that classical music shit she be doing. At some point she's playing some shit that don't relate to me. …

In other "gangsta rap" news...turns out that defender of women's rights and rap thug Akon hasn't really been to jail enough times to truly earn his "street cred":

Compared to most of hip-hop's leading figures past and present--50 Cent, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Diddy, Tupac Shakur, Jay-Z, Notorious B.I.G.--Akon, 35, seems to have logged more time behind bars and, consequently, gained a better understanding of the average convict's plight (both in and out of custody) than any of his musical peers. The New York Times has referred to him as the "prison-obsessed R&B singer" who "wants it known that crooners can evoke prison life just as effectively as rappers." In fact, the singer not only named his company Konvict Music, but he settled on "Konvicted" for the title of his second album, which sold nearly three million copies last year.


As it turns out, however, "Kontrived" might have been a more accurate choice.


Akon's ad nauseum claims about his criminal career and resulting prison time have been, to an overwhelming extent, exaggerated, embellished, or wholly fabricated, an investigation by The Smoking Gun has revealed. Police, court, and corrections records reveal that the entertainer has created a fictionalized backstory that serves as the narrative anchor for his recorded tales of isolation, violence, woe, and regret. Akon has overdubbed his biography with the kind of grit and menace that he apparently believes music consumers desire from their hip-hop stars.


In hip-hop circles, being considered "real" is a requirement for success. Akon, on the other hand, couldn't be more fake. He's the music industry's phantom menace, a guy who, four years ago, cast himself as a crime kingpin and has happily played that fictitious role ever since. Really, why tinker with success?



Of course Akon should have spent some real time in prison for this:



The video (warning: extremely graphic):



Naturally Akon took the opportunity to cash in and blame everyone else for his disgusting behavior by cutting a record entitled "I'm sorry". The lyrics:

I’m sorry that it took so long to see
That they were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I’m sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I’m sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young

I’m sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
Enter 21 and I know the club they say
Why doesn’t anybody wanna take blame
Verizon backed out disgracing my name
I’m just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame

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