Monday, April 14, 2008

Pamela Anderson: Potatoes to the rescue!

As predicted, the evils of global warming are rearing their ugly heads and causing a world-wide food shortage. But from an unlikely source comes wisdom...that the world should just look to the potato:

LIMA (Reuters) - As wheat and rice prices surge, the humble potato -- long derided as a boring tuber prone to making you fat -- is being rediscovered as a nutritious crop that could cheaply feed an increasingly hungry world.

Potatoes, which are native to Peru, can be grown at almost any elevation or climate: from the barren, frigid slopes of the Andes Mountains to the tropical flatlands of Asia. They require very little water, mature in as little as 50 days, and can yield between two and four times more food per hectare than wheat or rice.

"The shocks to the food supply are very real and that means we could potentially be moving into a reality where there is not enough food to feed the world," said Pamela Anderson, director of the International Potato Center in Lima (CIP), a non-profit scientific group researching the potato family to promote food security.

Like others, she says the potato is part of the solution.

Pamela more potatoes!

Potatoes are a great source of complex carbohydrates, which release their energy slowly, and -- so long as they are not smothered with butter -- have only five percent of the fat content of wheat.

They also have one-fourth of the calories of bread and, when boiled, have more protein than corn and nearly twice the calcium, according to the Potato Center. They contain vitamin C, iron, potassium and zinc.

Well...hell! I didn't know Pamela had become such an enlightened advocate for global hunger! But of course she obviously knows what she is talking about...just look at her.

So I'm on board. Potatoes...the solution to global hunger...

Update: Oops. Turns out global warming might not be the reason for the food shortage. Sorry about that. Just like the Associated Press and the New York Times, This Goes to 11 prides itself on 100% accurate reporting.

2nd Update: Oops again. Well, maybe the earth isn't exactly "warming" like Algore (PBUH) says. My bad.

Update #3. The Hell You Say! I just got an email from some jealous feminazi who claims that our Pamela:

"has more brains in her boobs than she does in her head...she can't POSSIBLY be the global nutrition expert you hyper-hormonal oafs at This Goes to 11 suggest she is. Shame on you!"

Katie dare you cast aspersions on Pamela Anderson, you undersexed wanna-be journalist. How's that gig at CBS working out for ya?


Anonymous said...

PA is looking pretty rough these days.

Nigel said...

Well...she's no "Stacy"...but still.

Brian said...

I believe I speak for the Center for Disease Control when I say that if you absolutely must catch Hep C that Pam Anderson is probably the best way to get it.

Nigel said...

You're too damn funny, Brian...