1. Buy the Cubs -- whatever the asking price, offer double.
2. Let Cubs fans know that there will be a 100% surcharge on ticket prices just for this, the 2008 World Championship Season.
3. Sign A-Rod to a 1 year $50M contract; sign Johan Santana to a 1 year $30M contract.
4. Call Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens and declare that you'd like them to be first ballot Hall-of-Famers together in 2014 after having celebrated together being the first Cubs in 100 years to win a WS. Ask them to play 1 season for minimum wage -- they pitch out of the pen and are spot starters. They can show up to the park and leave whenever they want. Publicly announce that any other free agents are welcome to try out for the Cubs World Series Team and play 1 season at minimum wage.
The rest of the grand plan is here.
Of course there is a huge downside to all of this. We all know that there is only one potential candidate who is diabolical enough, has the money to pull it off and shares the passion for the Cubs that all North-siders have. That's right: