6:40pm: Father Guido Sarducci gives the invocation:
6:45pm: Toni leads a panel discussion on John McCain: mean $#%&ing clueless bastard. It is agreed...John McCain might be a prick, but he is not a Prick.
7:15pm: Cranky gives an impassioned speech...why Collective Soul is the "greatest band of all time":
7:40pm: The nomination of Collective Soul as "greatest band of all time" is not seconded. Heated discussions abound until Vinnie takes control of the convention by imposing his own version of martial law. As nobody wants to mess with Vinnie, a compromise candidate as "greatest band of all time" is elected:
8:00pm: Dinner is served. Can you believe this?:
8:45pm: Keynote speaker Jimmie "JJ" Walker steps to the podium to give us his brilliant assessment of the US economy:
9:00pm: An aside...where the hell is C-Span?
9:30pm: T-man holds court...why NASA is a big waste of money.
10pm: Smantix leaves the room to take a whiz. Big mistake. Merri quickly moves to nominate Smantix as our 2008 IPP nominee. I second the nomination. The votes are tallied and the vote is unanimous. The process takes 55 seconds.
10:02pm: (Nobody tell Smantix. He still doesn't know).
10:15pm: The 2007 IPP convention is formally closed. Nothing seems to have been accomplished, yet everything has been. The world has been changed and a great movement has been born. The Pricks adjourn here to comtemplate:
12:30am Mrs. Smantix wins first annual IPP pool tournament...promises to put new pool table in the White House:
(not really Mrs. Smantix...as far as you know)
1:15am: Milk and Oreos. Good night.