I thought I was going to die...

Well, yesterday was interesting...

I was in my office when my hands and feet started to go numb and I got very dizzy. I'm 42 and overweight and haven't had a checkup in years. Naturally the first thing I thought was...heart attack?

I was able to recover long enough to quietly gather my things and drive myself to Scripps La Jolla Hospital (fortunately, just down the street from my office).

In the waiting room the numbness increased, I got severe chills and extremely dizzy. I was wondering how much longer it would be before I slipped into unconsciousness and perhaps checked out for good.

A nurse got me back to a bed immediately and all of a sudden I had wires, needles, valves and all sorts of medical gadgetry protruding from my body. It all happened so fast...

My blood pressure was 178/103. I had no idea what those numbers meant, but the doctor explained that was way too high. The doctor told me that unless my blood pressure fell back to under 140/100, that I wasn't leaving.

The EKG results came back and my biggest fear was alleviated...my heart seems to be normal. Still, the doctor wants me to see a cardiologist and to have my blood enzymes checked.

He also wants me to see a neurologist to evaluate my risk for stroke.

A few hours later, my blood pressure finally fell to 137/94...and I heard the best news of the day: I could leave. In fact, the doctor suggested that I attend basketball practice (I coach high school) since he thought it would keep things normal for me (as long as I didn't jump in and start playing).

While all of this was going on, I had some strange thoughts. My first one was...what if I have to spend a few nights in the hospital (or what if I die)...and someone has to go back to my home to pick up (or box up) some belongings? MY BED ISN'T MADE AND I HAVE YESTERDAY'S DIRTY UNDERWEAR ON THE FLOOR (I missed the hamper and was too lazy to pick it up).

How embarrassing...

I also thought of this...my symptoms first started appearing right about the time I began this blog (about 4 days ago). Is blogging some high-pressure endeavor? Does blogging create an obsessive nature? Does the snarkiness inherent with political blogging cover up a rage-mentality that would raise my blood-pressure?

Of course over-analysis of this is kind of a liberal thing...let's study every "underlying" issue that might relieve me of accountability and ignore the elephant in the room:

I'm fat. At least 80lbs heavier than I should be. My diet sucks, I drink way too much coffee, and I don't exercise enough. In other words...THIS IS MY FAULT.

I thought of the recent death of liberal blogger Steve Gilliard (the guy who photo-shopped Michael Steele in black-face and accused him of being a "Sambo"). He died at 41 and he was a hefty dude. He had heart disease (and other health issues) no doubt brought on because of his weight.

He had a proclivity for eating the same garbage I do. And he went through medical hell before his body finally gave out.

There is a current mini-firestorm over at Six Meat Buffet because of Smantix's "eulogy" about Gilliard. Smantix was certainly insensitive for writing such a biting "tribute" only a few hours after Gilliard died.

The same liberal community who spat on Jerry Falwell's corpse before he had gotten cold, is APPALLED that someone would be so insensitive as to write such meanness.

But Gilliard was a rude and sarcastic blogger himself. My bet is that he would have told all those bed-wetters who are so up in arms to get a grip on themselves and quit acting like such babies. At least I'd like to think that.

I know this...certainly I'd like all of my friends to think well of me should I leave this earth prematurely. I also wouldn't give a rat's butt what my detractors said about me...let them fire away.