Jay Grodner...where are you?

The Chicago Tribune's John Kass has some questions for you:

Private attorney Jay R. Grodner, 55, of Chicago has been charged with a class A misdemeanor -- criminal damage to property -- punishable by up to one year in jail and up to a $2,500 fine, said Andy Conklin, spokesman for the state's attorney's office.

Late Wednesday, I reached Sgt. McNulty, who declined to comment for the paper but confirmed the facts in the police report.

And I wanted to get Grodner's side of it because he's been accused but not convicted of anything. So we called all the Grodner numbers we could find -- home and business -- including those on the police report and others in the suburbs and Chicago. Many were disconnected, and his cell phone voice mail was full.

I'd like to ask him two questions:

Why?

And, are you proud?

For those needing a little review, Jay Grodner is the Giant Douche who allegedly keyed Sgt. McNulty's car...and then couldn't find the courthouse on his court date. Oh...and who really likes sex (eww...).



Fortunately for us, John Kass is a real journalist (not a hack blogger like myself) and got in touch with an eye witness:

"Mike says, 'Hey, what are you doing to my car? Open up your hand!'" Sullivan told us. "And [Grodner] goes, '[Blank] you! Just because you're in the military you don't run the roost!'"

Run the roost? Heh.

There were allegedly many more epithets and cuss words, some allegedly applied to the United States Marine Corps, to the U.S. armed forces and to Sgt. McNulty himself.

"Quite frankly, you don't even look like a soldier. You're a small little [blank]," Grodner said according to Sullivan.

Jay Grodner...in a pic I'll bet he now wishes he had never posed for...

Naturally when police arrived, Grodner went with the usual liberal defenses. Kass continues:

According to the police report I read, other investigative accounts and interviews, Grodner was upset to have been accused of purposely scratching the car. So upset, that he accused his accusers of being anti-Semitic.

The Chicago police officer responding to the call didn't take the accusation seriously, according to the report, because he couldn't justify it. And Sgt. McNulty's brother and Sullivan say it is outrageous and nonsensical.

"The officer wasn't going to hear this kind of talk. He put the kibosh on the whole thing," Sullivan said. "So [Grodner] became apologetic."

According to the police report, "The offender denied scratching the victim's vehicle, but did admit to rubbing past it."

Rubbing past it? I guess it all depends on what the definition of "rubbing" is.