This op ed pissed me off so royally I couldn't see straight.
Oh excuse me. I should have said "This har bit o' writin' by this here uppity darkie done made me so stinkin' mad I was shakin' lahk a weasel stuck in the chikin wahr." Because that's the kind of stupid, backwards, slow-witted, simple-minded, non-nuanced, layers-challenged, southern, racist, Reagan lovin', fetus-worshipping Republican that I am. That's too big to stick on a pin isn't it?
What a windbag. I don't even know where to begin.
Let me just say that my choice of party is a rational one based upon a belief in man's individual freedoms. Conservatives debate issues amongst themselves. We argue vehemently and with a great amount of intellectual skill. My conservative friends in the blogosphere are a diverse group as far as the left would characterize "diverse." There are gays, straights, pro-lifers, pro-choicers, blacks, Jews, athiests, Christians, males and females. We may disagree on a few things, but we are not so diverse in our understanding of the role of federal government in our lives. Over the years of weighing issues against our ideals of justice, fairness, and freedom, we've gotten pretty solid about what we believe. That's why our answers are so short.
Barack Obama can't answer a simple question clearly because he has been sheltered among academics who never would deign to debate ideas with a conservative. He has to dance around the world when it comes to the question of when life begins because inside he knows his answer would outrage the gentle people of the United States.
I could dumb down this whole op-ed. It would fit on a bumper sticker, and libs would buy it. Americans are retarded. Keep it simple.
Let's dumb down Barack's nkay?
Q."When does life begin Mr. Obama?"
A."A baby's life begins when a mother decides not to kill it."
Q."What about the economy?"
A."I want to steal from the rich and give to the poor."
Q."What about foreign policy?"
A. "I will spend a great deal energy time chastising good Christians who want to protect their families, love their neighbors, and have a hope for humans to live in peace and make it to Heaven, while offering my support to cultures who mutilate their daughters, kill their sons, and wish for everyone to suffer Hell on Earth."
Q. "So you support terrorism?"
A. "Well, no. I wouldn't say that. I do support left wing American style domestic terrorists like William Ayers. He's got style. Radical white American professors just look so smart clinging to their Molotov cocktails and stepping on the flag."
Sounds kind of scary when you dumb him down, no? I'd advise the guy to smile more, and dress in a lot of layers this fall.